Goodbye, for now

As we said our goodbyes,

Time slowed.

We held each other a little longer...

You told me, "I love you baby" -

You never said "I love you" to anybody,

But me...

And if you did, it was once a year.

But you told me every time we spoke,

Multiple times. 

Your once strong embrace,

Felt fragile

But I could feel you mustering whatever strength you had to hold me tight and pull me close.

Once a man that some feared,

But I never had-

Because I was always your favorite,

And I'm not quite sure why.

You let me get away with more than the other kids,

You gave me more responsibilities as well-

You trusted me with your garden,

And Lord knows, you trusted nobody with your garden.

I tended to the tomatoes, cucumbers and eggplants-

Eating my weight in cherry tomatoes every time I harvested them for you.

I remember always looking at your hands,

Rough, tanned and rugged-

Truly a testament to your hardworking nature. 

You smelled of tobacco and caramel,

And somehow, I loved it,

Burrying my face in your flannel every time I hugged you, 

Inhaling deeply...

As I slipped my tiny hand into your shirt pocket to steal a peppermint lifesaver or Werther's Original. 

From the time I could talk, you taught me what it meant to be Italian-

You had me in the kitchen cooking sauce with you, and dicing onions and garlic before I probably should have ever held a knife. 

I remember standing on a wooden chair from the table, pulled to the countertop, and taking direction as the aroma of your sauce filled the air...

Sneaking bread in when you weren't looking to steal a taste -you always smiled like you knew.

I remember you talking me with peeling potatoes,  which seemed like for hours-

You and I fought over the end pieces of bread, something I still giggle about every time I eat one.

The smell of fresh cut wood from your workshop permeates my memory- Watching you create with your hands, not only food, but furniture, truly had me in awe.

My grandpa did everything! 

And as the years passed,

I watched your soul soften-

What once was strength and a hand with a paddle, turned to less building, more cooking, and slow days with grandma as she rapidly declined. 

You gave up your life,

For her,

And for us kids -

To be close and to watch us grow-

You became selfless, though not everyone could truly see it... I did.

I loved our calls, I loved the soul connection we had, and I simply love you! 

The last glance we shared,

Our eyes swelled with tears-

We knew,

It would be the last time we would look at each other.

You looked at me like you were so proud,

And with such love-

It was one of the most powerful feelings I've experienced in my life. 

So much said, with no words at all.

I love you grandpa,

Give grandma and mom hugs for me-

I know you three will have so much to catch up on.