Trying.

My heart aches,

Because some of the people I love,

Friends, family-

Fail to have the empathy,

That the world so desperately needs.

Is their blind eye,

Due to a lack of strength,

A lack of self-respect,

Or

Deep seeded hate for others?

Because we are past the point of ignorance, 

Quickly slipping into compliance,

And there is no turning back.

What is happening now, will forever shape our future as a nation, as a world, as a human race.

We will either burn this reality to the ground, 

Or save what humanity we have left with our dying breaths.

There is no "business as usual;"

There is no "just wait it out,"

You are either on the right side of history, 

Or the wrong side,

And as history repeats itself, complicity is on the wrong side.

You may think your silence is safety,

But when they come for you, 

Just know this: 

This is what you asked for. 

When it is your mother, sister, brother, father, son, daughter or friend- this is what you stood by.

You stood by a nation that fed you lies,

To further indebt you to your servitude. 

"Be good, little girl, shut up... just take it."

If you operate in fear,

You will be overcome by paralysis, 

Just as they want you to. 

It is time to tune in,

Not tune out.

Tune into your gut,

Your conscience,

Your heart-

Think freely-

With love, grit, and your inner fire.

The truth lies within,

Not without.

And,

I hope you rise.

I hope you find your strength.

I hope you find it in time,

To save what humanity we have left.

Because, so many of us are trying.

Simple Gaze

 I gaze in your eyes,

And I see endless seas of love-

I get caught up in the vast beauty, safety, and greatness that your soul radiates, abundantly.

You are the vision of my future,

Holding the key to a lifetime of happiness, peace and adventure-

In your embrace, 

I recognize you as my home-

My anchor,

My armor, 

My rock.

I fall more and more in love with you, each passing moment

End of the World

It was the end of the world,

Civilizations collapsing,

People killing their neighbors-

Nobody civil, only barbarism. 

A "fix" in the form of an injection-

Peaceful passing with a helping hand.

Simply inject,

Sleep,

Die.

So serene-

But...

It didn't sit right with me.

With You, my Dad and my Mom.

Dad was very vocal, 

Pushing and pressing for all of us to do this,

So we weren't ravaged by other humans-

You, quiet, but seemingly compliant- taking in each word he said.

My mom, smiling, peaceful, not saying a word- but a warmth radiated from her.

I sat on the ground and laid in my mother's arms,

She cradled me-

I instantly felt like a child again,

Wrapped in her warmth and love-

Unconditional love-

My dad, 

Injecting my arm- telling me you would all be right behind me.

I was told to go first-

The solution succeeded 96% of the time, with a 4% chance of failure- 

Survival.

I fell asleep in my mom's arms,

Reluctantly awaiting death-

The deepest sleep,

To then gasp-

For air.

Rushing back into my body,

Like a wave to the shore.

Crashing.

It failed, 

I was awake-

My mom stroking my hair,

And my dad in shock trying to convince me to do it again. 

I looked at You-

My heart broke...

How was I supposed to leave and know where to find you on the other side?

What if I never saw you again? 

What if I never found you again? 

I would search for all eternity looking for you...

"I don't want to die!!!" I scream,

Exclaiming that this can't be the only way 

I become hysterical, 

Hyperventilating,

Choking on my tears-

I run into your arms,

Cling to you,

Tell you I love you,

That we have to find another way- a way that we can stay together, 

A way we will never be separated-

I wake,

In tears.

I could never part from you,

Not even in death-

And,

Was my mom physically there, or was I the only one that could see her? 

Why was my dad so adamant? In my gut I felt like I was the only one who was dying-

What a wild dream.

My Love

Take my hand,

I've got your back-

As tides will eb and flow

My love,

I'm here-

As every morning rises,

And every night sets. 

I will offer my strength when you are tired,

Use my voice when you're at a loss for words-

Give you my chest to lay your head,

Each and every time you long for rest.

My love is anchored in us,

And I will anchor you,

In times you feel like getting lost at sea-

I will give you serenity, understanding and patience when you need it,

Take my hand, 

Look into my eyes,

Find that I am your safe space,

And vow to be for all eternity. 

I will protect you,

And love you,

Through every season of life,

My love 

Unfold

Every time I close my eyes,

Even just to blink,

I see you-

I see our future,

I see our future family,

I see our love continue to grow,

To blossom,

To thrive-

I see your face,

Those beautiful tiger's eyes-

I see that radiant smile,

I see the sparkle in your eyes,

The way you look at me,

So loving,

So deep-

I see every future flight with you,

Traveling the world,

And leaving our mark on it-

I see every holiday,

Every family dinner,

Every game night-

I see our lives growing,

Flowing-

My beautiful, 

Future wife-

I can't wait,

To watch it all unfold!

This is Bliss

 A calm washes over me,

As I sit in your silence-

Strong, stable, nurturing, safe,

Silence-

A beautiful gift you give me,

Daily. 

I can't help but lean into the warmth of it,

Your words,

Your voice,

Your aura-

I simmer and soak,

Allowing myself to absorb you,

And absorb into you.

Healing my inner child along the way.

Your love,

Unwavering,

Stands like a lighthouse guiding me home,

With each and every wave,

Bringing me closer to shore. 

Washing the fires of the day away,

With the strength of your ocean-

I breathe a little slower,

Ease the beating of my heart-

With the perfect dose of love you give-

My home is here,

With you,

So I melt,

Into this everlasting love,

For an eternity I will never fathom,

And long to linger in it, through every time/space reality.

Leave me on loop,

Because this,

Is bliss.

Grow Old

 I wish I could've watched you grow old, 

Watched the skin on your hands wrinkle with adventure, from making food and making memories -

Wish I could've watched the blonde hairs fade to white and gray, with knowledge, grit and grace-

I'd give anything to watch those blue eyes sparkle as you shared stories from your past and our childhood- Unconditional love outpouring with the way you looked at us, your children. 

I wish I could've had sleepovers watching When Harry Met Sally, or You've Got Mail for the 100th time, as we laugh and you dream of true love-

And I'd give anything to belly laugh with you, 'till we cry- over something dumb, that only we could understand. 

I wish you could see 80, I know you'd still drive your red drop top, with matching red lipstick- blasting Prince for all the kids walking to school, to hear and see - absolutely fabulous. 

And I wish I could take you to the grocery store, where the aisles become our runways and stages- where we sing and dance like little kids. 

I wish one day you could meet the daughter that I'll have, and see yourself within her eyes, the way that everyone sees you and Nana in mine- I know you'd feed her ice cream for breakfast, pamper her like a princess, and watch her sleep like an angel as you tickled her back.

How I wish, I could do for you, all that you did for me- and make your days easier as they got hard, but that can never be-

So for now, I count my blessings, 

Cherish every memory,

And know that you're still watching, as I get older, and grow into me.