Off Switch

 Where is the off switch?

Have I lost it under my clothes?

Or is it tucked beneath my wavy hair? 

Only Goddess truly knows.

Where is the off switch?

The one that allows me to exhale,

The one that allows my smile to soften-

And allows my heart to be frail.

Where is the damn off switch?

I'm tired, and just need some rest.

My heart still aches, 

The sparkle in my eyes feels forced at times,

And I can barely catch my breath.

Where is the fucking off switch?

I'd peel back my skin, to feel calm...

To turn off all my thoughts for once, 

And silence my gifted charm.

I check behind my rib cage,

And grip up my beating heart...

Where is this fucking off switch?

I guess, I'll just stay On.

Weird Girl

 You're such a weird girl.

As you lay there- envisioning...

Your anxiety buzzes, bouncing off the walls of this cage you keep your soul in.

You're such a weird girl-

Aching, and heart breaking...

So depressed, and obsessed- but here you are.

You're such an odd one.

You're such a weird girl.

Laying there on your back- 

Slicing yourself vertically with your mind, to peel back the layers of your flesh, to simply relieve the pressure. 

So.

Much.

Pressure.

Each layer that peels back, you feel lighter, and as if you're one step closer to breathing again.

You weird ass girl.

It feels like you're on the precipice of breaking free from this... cocoon? 

You're such a weird, weird girl.

Tired

 I am tired,

My eyes are sunken in, my heart is exhausted, and my mind is filled with the sound of static. 

I am tired,

Of people.

Telling me I'm happy, explaining why I'm happy, or why I should be... I'm so damn tired.

I'm tired of the shallow conversations "Hi, how are you? How was your day?" 

I'm tired of the mundane routine. 

The "I know what to expect" 

I want the universe to shake it up- give me something new. Maybe this year for Christmas, I'll have a better view. A better vision... and maybe for once I'll feel rested, and rejuvenated.  

My love is tapped. 

But there is so much more to give...

This girl, just needs a lot more healing, and a little more rest- maybe more caffeine.