Captivated by this peace that surrounds me,
Like a shell protecting a yolk.
I can't see it,
But its presence is overwhelmingly beautiful.
I climb into a chamber of love,
The walls are sturdy,
Sunshine warms me.
My heart dances to its own beat,
Occasionally skipping one.
Those are the times I feel it...
When it stops.
It's blissful and leaves me inquiring,
Searching,
Learning,
Discovering.
Like a curious child roaming through wilderness.
Touching, feeling, embracing the wild bark and thorns she encounters.
Scents of new beginnings fill her lungs,
Sights of detail captivate her eyes.
Scraggly long blonde curls,
Catching on tress branches,
And she twirled,
Face to the sky.
Her toes sink into mud,
As she let's nature paint a picture on her soles.
Creating just one of many stories on her flesh.
She giggles, and the wind takes the sound from her lips.
To the ears of somebody far away.
Far away in the physical world,
But always close.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
Simple Breathing
Find me,
Discovery me,
In the in between.
Encompass me,
Surround me,
Hold me,
While I hold this fading breath.
Shallow,
Deep,
Entranced.
Get lost in my breath.
Heavy then slow.
Near,
Far.
Hollow.
Discovery me,
In the in between.
Encompass me,
Surround me,
Hold me,
While I hold this fading breath.
Shallow,
Deep,
Entranced.
Get lost in my breath.
Heavy then slow.
Near,
Far.
Hollow.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Return Me
Running my fingertips up and down my sternum
Inhaling the sunshine that warms me through the windshield.
The visage falsely represented,
The cold air trickles in.
Craving eternal warmth I close my eyes,
Project my soul to a warm, dark space.
Welcoming the distant light energy that pierces this total blackness.
A century ago I fell into a deep sleep,
Breath lost,
Bare bones
And here I wake,
In a different space.
Energize me.
I plead... take me home.
Return me to the dimension where I belong.
Inhaling the sunshine that warms me through the windshield.
The visage falsely represented,
The cold air trickles in.
Craving eternal warmth I close my eyes,
Project my soul to a warm, dark space.
Welcoming the distant light energy that pierces this total blackness.
A century ago I fell into a deep sleep,
Breath lost,
Bare bones
And here I wake,
In a different space.
Energize me.
I plead... take me home.
Return me to the dimension where I belong.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Fay
A light surrounds me.
My heart flutters its wings.
I see darkness ahead, and gear up.
Power and light dance through my fingertips
A fiery solstice on the rise.
An eclipse on the horizon.
I lay among the clouds and watch the humans bustle below me.
I play with their hair,
Touch their freckled faces.
Gaze into their eyes,
All to receive a blank stare back.
They look right through me,
As if I am a ghostly image of their past.
I can't help but smile at their blissful ignorance.
I am somehow intrigued,
As if I have the power to unlock their abilities.
Somewhere, I hold the key.
I beg to dance with them,
To know their insecurities and instabilities.
But I am simply Fay.
I cannot possibly understand their mildly complex minds.
As I think much deeper than they.
My chest rises and falls,
This shell of a body encases my entrancing spirit.
Some call it mythical... some call it magical,
I call it supernatural...
Spiritual.
So much deeper than the surface.
Born into the universe, among the stars.
An achiever.
A charmer.
My heart flutters its wings.
I see darkness ahead, and gear up.
Power and light dance through my fingertips
A fiery solstice on the rise.
An eclipse on the horizon.
I lay among the clouds and watch the humans bustle below me.
I play with their hair,
Touch their freckled faces.
Gaze into their eyes,
All to receive a blank stare back.
They look right through me,
As if I am a ghostly image of their past.
I can't help but smile at their blissful ignorance.
I am somehow intrigued,
As if I have the power to unlock their abilities.
Somewhere, I hold the key.
I beg to dance with them,
To know their insecurities and instabilities.
But I am simply Fay.
I cannot possibly understand their mildly complex minds.
As I think much deeper than they.
My chest rises and falls,
This shell of a body encases my entrancing spirit.
Some call it mythical... some call it magical,
I call it supernatural...
Spiritual.
So much deeper than the surface.
Born into the universe, among the stars.
An achiever.
A charmer.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Burning in Hell
Long, empty spaces fill my soul.
It aches.
It is torched with fires of hopes and dreams.
It is tired from feeding the flame with its oxygen.
I try to smother the uncontrollable mess.
I try to claw at the locked door in front of me,
My fingernails peel back and begin to bleed.
I too shall be engulfed in the flames,
I too shall be suffocated by the smoke.
This fire you set, has left me burning alive.
Flesh melting away.
Soul trying to hang on...
By the slightest thread.
I collapse, in synconicity with my lungs.
Eyes close, with the doors to my soul.
Body dies, as my soul is born into another dimension.
This is the hell that I live in.
This is the hell of my daily spiritual growth.
It aches.
It is torched with fires of hopes and dreams.
It is tired from feeding the flame with its oxygen.
I try to smother the uncontrollable mess.
I try to claw at the locked door in front of me,
My fingernails peel back and begin to bleed.
I too shall be engulfed in the flames,
I too shall be suffocated by the smoke.
This fire you set, has left me burning alive.
Flesh melting away.
Soul trying to hang on...
By the slightest thread.
I collapse, in synconicity with my lungs.
Eyes close, with the doors to my soul.
Body dies, as my soul is born into another dimension.
This is the hell that I live in.
This is the hell of my daily spiritual growth.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
A Letter from the Woman that Could've Been Your Mom...
Dear angel (A),
I know you don't know me by name. You may recognize it if you heard it. I know you might not even recognize my face, it's been a year since you first (and last) saw it. There are just a few things that I want you to know. First of all (and most importantly) you need to know how much your father loves you.I remember the day he called me and told me he was going to have a son. I could hear his voice full of tears of joy. One thing I never doubted was that he would be THE BEST father, and that any child would be lucky to call him "Dad." Ever since him and I were young, dumb and in love he wanted kids... all he ever wanted was to be a dad. He had this beautiful innate desire to be the best father a world could offer, and that was one of the things I most admired about him. When you were born I got another call a few days later, he was ecstatic. You were "beautiful" "perfect" and "all he could've asked for." My heart did flips and sang with joy again. There is something about your father he may not recognize, and as you grow older you will remind him of: his worth. Your father is a hard worker, is determined and has arguably the largest heart that I've come across in my lifetime. He is full of love, determination and creativity. I have no doubt that as you continue to grow and flourish he will see these qualities in you, his Son. Another thing I want to do is thank you. Thank you for giving your dad a reason to live when times get tough. Thank you for giving him unconditional love for the rest of his life. And thank you for blessing me with the ability to be connected to you through the distance. I can only hope that my ability to "see" what your soul has in store continues. When I first met you, you were four. It was about a year ago on a cool fall night. The stars were out in full force and I came over to have a cup of coffee and catch up with your father. Although we didn't work out as a couple, I know in my heart of hearts that we will always have a love and friendship with one another. We were talking about your recent accomplishments, your personality, your minor foes. His eyes were so bright. The brightest I had ever seen them. He got so excited that he literally woke you up in the middle of the night so that I could meet his little angel. You were scrawny, lanky, tired and had on these adorable little pajamas. You rubbed your eyes, the same eyes you shared with your father. He introduced you to me, and I fought back tears. I was so happy in this moment. I was so happy to see your father so happy and to see the life that he brought into this world. You were shy at first, but quickly broke out of your shell for a few minutes. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I want to thank you for that moment.
Throughout your short life I've had dreams and visions that you are in. Some good things, like how you are going to accomplish so much in your life. And some bad things, mainly health related issues. This morning I woke up with extreme anxiety. You and your father graced my dreams once again, and you were sick. You were so sick and I wanted to save you. It was your heart. Please know that if I could, I would give you mine to save your life. My dream was filled with anxiety, surgery, and the unknown. Awaken abruptly I called your father, he answered, unphased by my "So, I know this sounds crazy but I just had a dream about your son..." preface. He laughed, "I figured when you called that you had another one of your dreams." "It was his heart... I mean, I'm sure it isn't as bad as it was in my dream, but it was clearly his heart. Something was wrong with it... I just..."
"That's wild... we just took him to the doctors this week and he has a heart murmur... The doctors said it's nothing serious, but he does have one."
I felt so connected to you in this moment. Chills took over my body, tears filled my eyes. The moment I hung up the phone with your father I closed my eyes and prayed to the Universe. I asked her to allow us to share this connection for the remainder of my life. I sent positive energy, love and light to you.
Lastly, I want you to know that the world is yours for the taking. My dear, I want you to understand that ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING you want in this world can be yours. You can accomplish great things, and you WILL accomplish great things. Never doubt your intuition, as I promise you it's right about 99.99% of the time. Follow your dreams, and conquer the world!
I could continue to ramble on, but just know that there are undoubtedly at least two people in the world that would do anything for you. Sure one of them might be me, a 'stranger' to your physical world experiences, but because I would do anything for your Dad I would do anything for you.
With Love,
The Woman that Could've Been Your Mom
I know you don't know me by name. You may recognize it if you heard it. I know you might not even recognize my face, it's been a year since you first (and last) saw it. There are just a few things that I want you to know. First of all (and most importantly) you need to know how much your father loves you.I remember the day he called me and told me he was going to have a son. I could hear his voice full of tears of joy. One thing I never doubted was that he would be THE BEST father, and that any child would be lucky to call him "Dad." Ever since him and I were young, dumb and in love he wanted kids... all he ever wanted was to be a dad. He had this beautiful innate desire to be the best father a world could offer, and that was one of the things I most admired about him. When you were born I got another call a few days later, he was ecstatic. You were "beautiful" "perfect" and "all he could've asked for." My heart did flips and sang with joy again. There is something about your father he may not recognize, and as you grow older you will remind him of: his worth. Your father is a hard worker, is determined and has arguably the largest heart that I've come across in my lifetime. He is full of love, determination and creativity. I have no doubt that as you continue to grow and flourish he will see these qualities in you, his Son. Another thing I want to do is thank you. Thank you for giving your dad a reason to live when times get tough. Thank you for giving him unconditional love for the rest of his life. And thank you for blessing me with the ability to be connected to you through the distance. I can only hope that my ability to "see" what your soul has in store continues. When I first met you, you were four. It was about a year ago on a cool fall night. The stars were out in full force and I came over to have a cup of coffee and catch up with your father. Although we didn't work out as a couple, I know in my heart of hearts that we will always have a love and friendship with one another. We were talking about your recent accomplishments, your personality, your minor foes. His eyes were so bright. The brightest I had ever seen them. He got so excited that he literally woke you up in the middle of the night so that I could meet his little angel. You were scrawny, lanky, tired and had on these adorable little pajamas. You rubbed your eyes, the same eyes you shared with your father. He introduced you to me, and I fought back tears. I was so happy in this moment. I was so happy to see your father so happy and to see the life that he brought into this world. You were shy at first, but quickly broke out of your shell for a few minutes. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I want to thank you for that moment.
Throughout your short life I've had dreams and visions that you are in. Some good things, like how you are going to accomplish so much in your life. And some bad things, mainly health related issues. This morning I woke up with extreme anxiety. You and your father graced my dreams once again, and you were sick. You were so sick and I wanted to save you. It was your heart. Please know that if I could, I would give you mine to save your life. My dream was filled with anxiety, surgery, and the unknown. Awaken abruptly I called your father, he answered, unphased by my "So, I know this sounds crazy but I just had a dream about your son..." preface. He laughed, "I figured when you called that you had another one of your dreams." "It was his heart... I mean, I'm sure it isn't as bad as it was in my dream, but it was clearly his heart. Something was wrong with it... I just..."
"That's wild... we just took him to the doctors this week and he has a heart murmur... The doctors said it's nothing serious, but he does have one."
I felt so connected to you in this moment. Chills took over my body, tears filled my eyes. The moment I hung up the phone with your father I closed my eyes and prayed to the Universe. I asked her to allow us to share this connection for the remainder of my life. I sent positive energy, love and light to you.
Lastly, I want you to know that the world is yours for the taking. My dear, I want you to understand that ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING you want in this world can be yours. You can accomplish great things, and you WILL accomplish great things. Never doubt your intuition, as I promise you it's right about 99.99% of the time. Follow your dreams, and conquer the world!
I could continue to ramble on, but just know that there are undoubtedly at least two people in the world that would do anything for you. Sure one of them might be me, a 'stranger' to your physical world experiences, but because I would do anything for your Dad I would do anything for you.
With Love,
The Woman that Could've Been Your Mom
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Orien's Dance
Let's make memories,
The kind that only the two of us share.
Meet me on Mars or the Moon...
Among stars in the universe somewhere.
Bring your barest self,
I promise I won't judge.
Show your scars, your scrapes, your subtle shakes
Let's compare our darkest parts.
So as of close my eyes,
I imagine a blank canvas.
Paint splattered.
Now smeared.
I relax each muscle in my face,
Let the tension fall from my shoulders and neck.
Open my being, my soul
To the possibilities of astral projection.
Call me crazy,
but take my hand,
Let's walk
Among the stars.
Let's dance... weaving in and out of Orien's Belt.
The kind that only the two of us share.
Meet me on Mars or the Moon...
Among stars in the universe somewhere.
Bring your barest self,
I promise I won't judge.
Show your scars, your scrapes, your subtle shakes
Let's compare our darkest parts.
So as of close my eyes,
I imagine a blank canvas.
Paint splattered.
Now smeared.
I relax each muscle in my face,
Let the tension fall from my shoulders and neck.
Open my being, my soul
To the possibilities of astral projection.
Call me crazy,
but take my hand,
Let's walk
Among the stars.
Let's dance... weaving in and out of Orien's Belt.
Friday, February 17, 2017
Shadow of Her Demons
Am I turning into that which I despise?
That which I yearn to run from?
Have you ever met your own shadow
In the darkest of alleys?
Your eyes pierce your soul
Your touch makes you cringe...
It's like a drug you can't escape.
Let me course through your veins,
In the most intoxicating ways.
Let's be bare.
Naked.
Truly vulnerable.
Fall in love with my shadow,
Help me fall in love with her too.
You seem to have your demons under control .
As I age,
I still feel so young...
So much to learn,
But I can't seem to grasp this demon inside of me.
She taunts me,
Plays cat and mouse with me.
And here I am.
Simply intoxicated by her evil.
That which I yearn to run from?
Have you ever met your own shadow
In the darkest of alleys?
Your eyes pierce your soul
Your touch makes you cringe...
It's like a drug you can't escape.
Let me course through your veins,
In the most intoxicating ways.
Let's be bare.
Naked.
Truly vulnerable.
Fall in love with my shadow,
Help me fall in love with her too.
You seem to have your demons under control .
As I age,
I still feel so young...
So much to learn,
But I can't seem to grasp this demon inside of me.
She taunts me,
Plays cat and mouse with me.
And here I am.
Simply intoxicated by her evil.
Shame
Shame.
Why must we entangle ourselves in this societal norm?
Breaking barriers,
Questioning the credibility of this world'series people.
Why must we degrade what has been given to us?
Why must we feel the need to trap one another in webs of unconsciousness?
We were born naked,
Born free.
Born wild.
Why must we entangle ourselves in this societal norm?
Breaking barriers,
Questioning the credibility of this world'series people.
Why must we degrade what has been given to us?
Why must we feel the need to trap one another in webs of unconsciousness?
We were born naked,
Born free.
Born wild.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Dimensions
Slow breathing.
Let the night encompass me,
Let her stars shower me in stardust.
I shall walk,
I shall run,
I shall conquer.
These dreams allow for endless possibilities.
Our minds know no difference between dreams and reality.
So follow me,
Take my hand.
Let's dance this dangerous dance.
Let'stand make our reality simply dreams,
and dreams our reality.
If only for tonight,
On this dimension.
I will.meet you there.
Let the night encompass me,
Let her stars shower me in stardust.
I shall walk,
I shall run,
I shall conquer.
These dreams allow for endless possibilities.
Our minds know no difference between dreams and reality.
So follow me,
Take my hand.
Let's dance this dangerous dance.
Let'stand make our reality simply dreams,
and dreams our reality.
If only for tonight,
On this dimension.
I will.meet you there.
Wild Fire
This desire stirs in me.
Brewing like a summer storm.
Heat.
Passion.
Building.
Purposefully stepping on hot stones,
Stepping closer to the mouth of a volcano.
Silly careless girl.
Now dancing on hot coals-
It fuels her passion.
Burning flesh at the touch of the heat.
Free spirit claimed by love,
Endangered by lust.
A creature wild bred.
Tamed.
Yet craving her true nature.
She senses my magnetic lustrous being.
We feed together.
Burning in this Wild Fire.
Brewing like a summer storm.
Heat.
Passion.
Building.
Purposefully stepping on hot stones,
Stepping closer to the mouth of a volcano.
Silly careless girl.
Now dancing on hot coals-
It fuels her passion.
Burning flesh at the touch of the heat.
Free spirit claimed by love,
Endangered by lust.
A creature wild bred.
Tamed.
Yet craving her true nature.
She senses my magnetic lustrous being.
We feed together.
Burning in this Wild Fire.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Drenched.
Blood soaked tears,
Tear soaked pillowcase.
Mascara drenched skin.
She was a beautiful disaster,
Never giving in...
Never asking,
Pleading
Or begging for help.
Eyes sopping wet,
Breathing fast.
Racing
Chest rising,
Falling.
Shaking.
She felt hopeless,
She felt alone,
But honestly... what else was new?
She ached to scream,
To tear her skin from her frail bones.
To breathe her final breath.
Peaceful,
Serene.
Final
Sleep.
So she took one...
Took two..
Took three...
Pop
Pop
Pop.
Swallow.
She begged the universe to smother her in her sleep,
Leaving her dreams eternal.
And to never wake.
Tear soaked pillowcase.
Mascara drenched skin.
She was a beautiful disaster,
Never giving in...
Never asking,
Pleading
Or begging for help.
Eyes sopping wet,
Breathing fast.
Racing
Chest rising,
Falling.
Shaking.
She felt hopeless,
She felt alone,
But honestly... what else was new?
She ached to scream,
To tear her skin from her frail bones.
To breathe her final breath.
Peaceful,
Serene.
Final
Sleep.
So she took one...
Took two..
Took three...
Pop
Pop
Pop.
Swallow.
She begged the universe to smother her in her sleep,
Leaving her dreams eternal.
And to never wake.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Leo Eclipse
The time has come yet again
Eclipse of many moons
In Leo.
A fiery energy of change...
Abrupt endings.
As an empath, I brace myself.
Let the tides be resemblant of my strength,
Let the moon's light guide my way.
Let the night sky wash over me.
Peace and serenity on the Horizons.
An energy and warmth encompass me like a shell.
Bring on this journey.
Eclipse of many moons
In Leo.
A fiery energy of change...
Abrupt endings.
As an empath, I brace myself.
Let the tides be resemblant of my strength,
Let the moon's light guide my way.
Let the night sky wash over me.
Peace and serenity on the Horizons.
An energy and warmth encompass me like a shell.
Bring on this journey.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Four months
I close my eyes,
See the sunshine,
The palm trees,
The gorgeous desert ahead of me.
Four months,
Just about.
A change.
Good, desirable, peaceful change.
The arms of a warmer state,
A distant 'coast'
Tones of clay clashing with the clear blue sky.
Take me there.
Counting the days.
See the sunshine,
The palm trees,
The gorgeous desert ahead of me.
Four months,
Just about.
A change.
Good, desirable, peaceful change.
The arms of a warmer state,
A distant 'coast'
Tones of clay clashing with the clear blue sky.
Take me there.
Counting the days.
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