Grow Old

 I wish I could've watched you grow old, 

Watched the skin on your hands wrinkle with adventure, from making food and making memories -

Wish I could've watched the blonde hairs fade to white and gray, with knowledge, grit and grace-

I'd give anything to watch those blue eyes sparkle as you shared stories from your past and our childhood- Unconditional love outpouring with the way you looked at us, your children. 

I wish I could've had sleepovers watching When Harry Met Sally, or You've Got Mail for the 100th time, as we laugh and you dream of true love-

And I'd give anything to belly laugh with you, 'till we cry- over something dumb, that only we could understand. 

I wish you could see 80, I know you'd still drive your red drop top, with matching red lipstick- blasting Prince for all the kids walking to school, to hear and see - absolutely fabulous. 

And I wish I could take you to the grocery store, where the aisles become our runways and stages- where we sing and dance like little kids. 

I wish one day you could meet the daughter that I'll have, and see yourself within her eyes, the way that everyone sees you and Nana in mine- I know you'd feed her ice cream for breakfast, pamper her like a princess, and watch her sleep like an angel as you tickled her back.

How I wish, I could do for you, all that you did for me- and make your days easier as they got hard, but that can never be-

So for now, I count my blessings, 

Cherish every memory,

And know that you're still watching, as I get older, and grow into me. 

Capture

 Your electric love has me spiraling into a realm of serotonin induced bliss-

Exploring your Wonderland with every gentle trace of my fingertips, and every pause between each gasping breath.

Climbing miles above the clouds, 

I find myself fading into the oneness of the Universe,

The oneness of Us.

Counting each tiny galaxy in your eyes,

Getting lost in them, and giving all of me to you.

I want to caress every mountain, every valley, and swim in every river of yours- 

Trusting you'll catch me with every fall of your chest, as you rest in my arms.

The world's greatest fantasies are alive when we are together- within us, and around us

Chaotic exploration and inevitable satisfaction,  never knowing where we will end up- but knowing we will get there-

To wherever that destination is,

Whatever that climax might hold for us,

Whatever our story has in store.

I want to stop and admire every dandelion, every creature, every hidden lake with you...

Capture every moment with you, just as you've captured my soul.

55

Right about now,

I'd be calling you,

To tell you how "old" you are-

We'd laugh-

God, I swear I can hear your laugh.

You'd probably make some sort of comment about how that means I'm getting old too, since you had me so young

I'd give anything to celebrate another birthday with you,

Another year of your life by my side-

Alive, breathing, healthy-

But the universe had other plans

So,

I reminisce-

I think of your smile, your laugh, blasting music in the car with you, with the windows down, both of us singing at the top of our lungs.

Dancing in the grocery store like no one was watching,

I think of your hugs-

How I could literally feel,

Your love...

Your love was the most unconditional love I've ever experienced -

Thank you for teaching me that. 

I am the woman I am,

And I love unconditionally, 

Because of you. 

My spirit is wild and free, like yours-

My eyes,

Yours-

The older I get,

The more I see you,

In me.

And today,

I cry-

I try to stay lighthearted,

But today it is hard-

Painful,

But somehow through it all,

I feel your love.

I love you mom,

Happy 55th birthday-

I hope you feel my love each and every day,

Every single day I think of you-

I feel your presence often...

I love you 

Pepper & Spice

The smell of your skin,

Pepper and spice,

Still graces mine-

Lingering from when we embraced,

Goodbyes exchanged with such love,

A bond fierce and strong.

As the mornings grow colder,

Our love for one another remains warm,

Growing bold in flavor,

As we discover the intricacies of it.

My body and eyes tired,

My heart full and ready for our next adventure,

Just days away. 

I swear my love grows deeper, with each breath I take,

I love the way you love me,

The gaze from across the room full of people,

The early mornings where our bodies wrapped in a sunrise haze, make the most beautiful, passionate love

The way you pull me close in public,

As if you are showing the world I am yours. 

The passionate kisses that make the world melt,

And the way you tell me you love me,

A million times a day-

You are my soul,

My heart,

My person-

My beautiful woman,

A love like ours is rare,

Even once in a lifetime-

So, I cherish it,

I let it hang in the air around me,

Day in and day out-

Soaking it up,

Quenching my thirst for you

You can drown me in your love any day.