Drift

I'm so damn tired...and not in the literal sense

I feel like I could sleep forever,
Like I could simply close my eyes, drift to a dream land, and never come back.

Currently

All I want to do is cry...
And scream...
Because I cannot fix you,
I cannot mend you...
I just want to take all your pain away...
I want to strip you of all hurt, and stress...
I feel sick to my stomach...
I fight back these tears the best I can,
For you.

But I cannot live like this forever,
Which is what scares me the most...
Because I truly don't know what will be coming next.

Sand

Oh to feel...
Is feeling numb a feeling at all?
Or just a mask, to cover the eternal question of existence?
Are we so connected with the stars and the moon, that we feel each eb and flow of their pull and position? Of course we are. We are made of stardust,  and sculpted by the experience of lifetimes.
So this numb feeling, it will pass darling.
It is just a wave crashing on the shore of this moment... and you, for this moment, are the sand.

But what am I really here for?

Always expected of,
Never asked of,
Always assumed that,
Never appreciated

At Ease

Laying in my bed,
A bit of anxiety fills my chest,
At the thought of my self destructing mess, of a life.
But is it self destruction if you grow from it, learn from it, and flourish?

Or is it simply growing?

I'm alone tonight,
And thoughts race through my head.
All the words she's said...
And which ones she meant?
Or which ones I've kept...

It hurts my head, to think like that...
And to think of loneliness
And emptiness...

I just want to feel, and not hold back.
I want to be who I am ... truly.
To my full, uninhibited potential.

But my chest caves in deeper at the thought of letting go...
Being free.

Can I love, but let go, to grow?
Can I? Can we?
I just want to feel at ease...

Stardust and Champagne

And God sipped champagne,
As she looked down on us saying:
"And this is why I gave you free will."

She smirked as we kissed,
And laughed as we danced under the stars.
Unbeknownst to us,
We were made of stardust and champagne supernovas.