At Ease

Laying in my bed,
A bit of anxiety fills my chest,
At the thought of my self destructing mess, of a life.
But is it self destruction if you grow from it, learn from it, and flourish?

Or is it simply growing?

I'm alone tonight,
And thoughts race through my head.
All the words she's said...
And which ones she meant?
Or which ones I've kept...

It hurts my head, to think like that...
And to think of loneliness
And emptiness...

I just want to feel, and not hold back.
I want to be who I am ... truly.
To my full, uninhibited potential.

But my chest caves in deeper at the thought of letting go...
Being free.

Can I love, but let go, to grow?
Can I? Can we?
I just want to feel at ease...