Frustrating Comfortability Echoes

 Talking to these same four walls again,

The echo bounces back -

It is dark, dry, and desperate to be heard. 

Frustration builds- resentment creeps in,

Here we are again.

I am alone in my own mind,

Alone in my own soul...

Alone in my own sadness.

Broken- and fighting with every ounce left, to be strong.

I ache.

I want seemingly simple things, and feel as if they are not taken as seriously as I hope...

I feel this so comfortably,  uncomfortable pattern penetrating my soul again- and it is like a dagger through my lung... collapsing it, leaving me gasping for air...gripping at my chest,  as if my hand could magically patch it.

I hate the comfortable.

I am comfortably NUMB.

And it infuriates me.

I need CHANGE 

And I need it NOW...

Before all hope and fire for life is gone. 

I shall find the ember, and foster it back to a flame. I will fight. I will not give up, regardless of how messy- and how solitary the journey.

I will figure it the fuck out.

Sitting in Sadness

 Sadness is not something you can run from,

Not something you can hide from. 

Sadness can be all consuming,

Drowning, in a way.

Like you are suffocating- being smothered with grief. 

Being choked by loss.

Gasping for air, as your ankles are weighted down with doubt...

Hope escaping your lungs with each moment that passes. 

The pressure builds, and your eyes feel heavy-

Like they might explode with salty bursts of weakness... of expression.

Note- expression is not weakness.

But the world and its cruelty can make us feel fable and frail.

It's frightening. 

It's lonely.

But it can help us grow.