Wonderland *

It's like the sky is colored a pink lemonade color
The sun a bright - ray-  shining and hitting the crystal water
The glistening is love
The love is pure
Twirling and turning- bubble gum kisses and candy hearts
The singing flowers
Euphoric feeling- Welcome to Wonderland


<3

FauxPas

It's uneasy and sickening
the torn spool of thread weakens

Laughing in the face of mere simplicity- mere ignorance
Lies are forming on a regular
the coating to what makes you feel good about the rotten fruit underneath

Oh child- learn more- give more, forgive, and speak less of the imperfections of others
the beauty of reality is in imperfections
FauxPas

Pain

Do you see what you’ve done?

The shattered pictures- the setting sun

My childhood memories all just a mere façade of what I believed to be true

You tugged, and tore- the end was near, and lied when asked

But why? Why would you allow the dying to die and the killer to kill?

The white horse and my knight in shining armor, my idol, I always strived to be like you

You had all of the answers and you threw my trust away.

You did not only betray your fragile queen but the setting sun set on everything you two built from the ground up- every moment that passed by a little bit of each of us vanished like dust in the wind.

I want you to know I still care, and love, and the little girl inside of me still longs to be in daddy’s arms- but this inner child fears the wrath of her father- if he could scar her so bad once he sure could do it again

The love of a daughter to father never dies-  passionate insecurities will always remain

If my own father could scar me so could any man or woman that come into my life-

Let’s go back a few years where we were a happily stable household. A cherished family, looked up at- Fuck you for doing this. This pain will never cease fire on my soul.

It’s NOT OK.

It will NEVER be the same.

I’ll try to be strong as possible but no promises are made- I’m beautifully broken- perfectly torn, Jaded and betrayed.

You live on*

My trembling hands are left shaking at the thought of you

Your beautiful eyes that touched the souls of the wounded, your crooked smile that lit up the sky like one thousand fireworks

There was so much left unsaid and so much left untouched

You live on forever beautiful boy- yet the moments pass as my time to see you again races

There is never a moment you aren’t with me-The golden pearly gates await me and you will be there with open arms

The salt I taste on my lips is only me being merely selfish, but I can’t help but to wish I could hold you again- or wish to hear your voice-the only place I will is in my dreams- so close yet so far away

You live on

Dedicated to : KevinGoich  ((RIP beautiful boy))

Dying Rebirth

Naked.
Vulnerable to the worldly views of others yet not quite tainted in the ways one should be.
Broken and shattered on the floor of despair
but
a ray of sunshine- hope generating sunshine graces my delicate cheek
Breathe life into this gentle soul
Smother the cries of the past and embrace the beauty that lies within
I only hold what is now true
Not what you said I was. Not what you wanted me to be.

Fuck you and your undying judgements and let downs
Fuck you and your emrald piercing lies that lead you to an unhealthy poisoned life

I lay here

Naked. Broken. So sure that I was what you said I was- yet knowing that I am who I am

You have shaken me- gently. fiercely.
Our backs to eachother with our grips so hard on the knives that are caught.

Sunshine.
Sunkissed- you pulled me from the destruction... of my enemies- of myself.

Dying rebirth of me has now taken over my fragile mind.
          Renewed.

If only-Release.

If only::
you knew
how my heart throbbed
to scream
those words
those three words

Release::
the thoughts in my mangled mind
the feelings in my mangled heart
this delicate breath from these tattered lungs

Flutterbies

Twisting and twirling into emotions unknown
so hard- so fast - the beauty lies within the blind

Understanding and logic are hand in hand
Leaving flutterbies every
    step
       along
          the
             way

Breath of Fresh Air

Falling down.
Nothing bad- just the pure bliss of crashing
My mind wanders into the depths of the future. How can this be? So soon.
Too soon
Who knows

My grace- sweet, beautiful, blissful, grace is what you have become to me
The seconds pass like days while I am not with you
The comfort you bring me is truely wonderful- truely beautiful
like you.

It is almost as if my endearing thoughts are distant- almost like a dream
Catch me? You do.

Hoping is all I can do
You are like the sweetest breath of fresh air the earth has allowed me to intake.

Inhale.

Just a Lesson

You made my soul vein and trashed the life I lived
The facade of who you are crept up on me
The dawn took over my soul
Your poison forever tainted me- forever jaded me
How does it feel to suck the life out of a soul?
I'm sure it is a bitter sweet taste on your lips that lingers for a lifetime.
Your words are like razor blades cutting at glass- leaving marks, but never breaking

Strong I stand, with my head held high- my back to you- and my dreams back amoung the stars.
For now you are mearly but a lesson I had to learn.