Twisted love cycle

*Crawling out of my skin, into a world of unknown sin - a life that's left behind, a past that screams within. Scars that creep and knives sink deep, into the flesh so pale. A life that's changed, but deep remains, a burned and shattered, frail.

My thoughts they haunt me, tainted nightmares-
Only the good die young,
Although good is a facade of all that we know- and all that we think we love.

Abandonment - a word so long, yet simple in it's ways,
Familiar to those like myself, so lonely - every day.
 There's two that left me- both were loves, but different in content.
One was my blood, my father-
Who I thought was heaven sent- Until one day I realized that man is mortal male.
He failed his wife, his children- a lie... a fairytale.
Soon after that happened,
I lost another love- a boy I knew, and cared for- just proved to be a coward as my very own father.

This boy and I had loved, but then our love had changed- from puppy love, and first - to best friends, bonded, safe.
Our friendship proved to be- the strongest I ever had,
Until he left my side, like my coward of a dad.

Now I lay in this bed,
 Alone because I fear- that love is ever changing,
And the end is ever near.

I put my trust in women- soon after men had failed- but the first was
undeniably, a lesson learned at best.
Trust can not be given, it must be earned-

The woman I love now, has taught me these very words-
That love is true and burning, in the souls of every shell- but one must go through torture, and survive a distant hell.

I love and never felt so sure, of what I have right now,
but something haunts me in the night- of past loves that let me down.

I beg and plea to prove me wrong, and show me to the end,
of time is where I want to be,
I'll hold your very hand.