Dull Knife

It always seems to me, as the winter fast approaches, my mind spins
out
of
control.

My judgement lacks,
My lonely heart bleeds,
and my mind- She Screams.
So loud that only those most distant can hear her, but the pitch seems perfect by those closest.

An addiction increasingly on the rise,
like a time bomb, like a clock- ticking away at what seems to be years, but in reality is seconds.
Strength is overcome by selfish need to fulfill the urge.

Feeling broken, and lost- while knowing that she will leave me to hold the fort down again
I know strength lies in these scars...somewhere,
But it's a matter of digging deep beneath my skin, with a dull knife, to find it.