Stripped and Naked

Stripped.
Naked and exposed.
Tonight I feel as if my world has crashed down around me.
Like a rug was pulled swiftly from under my feet.

I have been soul searching,
On a journey...
The most beautiful, exciting and tantalizing journey,
And tonight I fell.
I fell so hard that my vision turned black,
That my head began to spin,
And words flew out of my mouth like daggers.
Pure evil, radiated from my being.

Disappointed in myself,
In my journey,
In the universe- even though she has only loved me and guided me.
I feel defeated.
I need to go on a retreat.
I need to regain my balance,
And find steady ground once again.

I stand in a white room,
Bright lights surround my delicate body. Bones pierce through my skin.
I am naked.
I am alone.
I only hear a voice in my head and I can't tell if I'm crazy, if I'm insane, if its my soul, or a soul from afar.

I want to wake from this nightmare.
I want to regain my peace.
I want to find the Aleph
Again.
I want to be,
The purest version of my soul.
Time to regain control.