Mother Daughter Day

 A mother and daughter sit next to me,

As my feet soak and I pick my polish color.

The little girl is 11,

And her and her mom are having a mother daughter day. 

Her crystal blue eyes, remind me of my own when I was that age. 

She wants blue toes, but a French manicure on her fingers to match her "Mommy"

My heart melts when she says that word.

Her mom so wildly loving the little girl to her left. Asking her about how her day was, and how things are going in dance. The little girl in equal amounts of bliss, enthralled with her mom. 

I'm instantly transported back to age 11. The days when my mom would call my school and tell them I was "sick," when in reality we were having a girl's day! 

Matching nails, lunch afterwards... 

Sneaking sips of my mom's diet peach snapple when she wasn't looking.  

What I'd give to have those days back.

I look to my right,

An empty chair... 

Maybe she's sitting with me after all.

Tears fill my eyes 🤍

Sunlit Capture

 Her soul was soft, but her heart was strong.

She found pleasure in the smallest things. 

The cackle of a crow, 

The breeze of a violent storm, whipping rain against her bare skin. 

The smell of fresh ground coffee beans.

It was the small moments that made her feel alive. It was the small moments she found comfort in. It was the small moments she fell in love with. 

Because each of those small moments are what fed her drive to live, to experience, to love 

Give Me More

 And if the sun never shined again,

On my olive skin- 

I'd know that our sin was beautiful. 

I'd know that my soul was indebted to you, and my heart was at your mercy. 

And I'd be OK with that. 

Because at least I got to love you,

Unconditionally. 

And I know the moments that we shared made time stand still....

Because our souls were on fire,

And still are. 

It is this torture of this human experience,  that made me love you.

It was your flaws and imperfections. 

It was your fierce light, and your laugh.

It was the safety of this secret we've created and held on to. 

I lay down my sword - and allow my raw thoughts to be explored. 

Give me more.

Summer Rain

 Do you ever,

Have tears fall,

When you aren't crying?

Eyes becoming a leaky faucet, 

Or an unexpected summer rain?

Do you feel the pain,

Of the numbness?

Hell's Eb & Flow

If Hell is where you met me,

Would you show me what Heaven looked like?

Would you take your wings and shelter me,

As bullets made of words fly?

Would you give me back my halo?

Or leave me there to die?

If Hell is where you met me,

Would you sit and watch me burn? 

It's my own grave I would've dug- 

Yet Angels love I'd yearn.

Am I just a fallen Angel,

Or the Demon that I know?

The one that dips in shadows-

To forgo the eb and flow.

Nutured.

 I just need to be...

Nutured. 

Dont care if I stay

 Your words cut like blades,

And I'm left to catch the blood...

Sew myself up.

Accept your apologies like the medication you think it is.

Each cut has caused a scar,

Though I don't speak of them much... 

They're buried under my clothes, 

Near my heart...

One by one, I examine them.

My self esteem dips and dives...

I weave and woe.

At one point I had laid my entire life, my entire heart, all of my love on the line...

And I tried, and I sacrificed...

And have yet to receieve the same level of sacrifice. 

So what do I do, bend and break?

Or bow away?

I feel like you don't care if I stay.