I Get It

 I get why you did it,

I get why she did it,

I get why she's wanted to do it.

I've wrestle the feelings, have quietly attempted twice, have even begged for God to take me in the night.

So, I get it. 

But most don't get it,

So that's why it happens- and that's why we bottle it up... until we can't take it, and then we break

snap, 

gone.

I often wonder if that's how I'll leave,

The same way my mother did.

It won't be for years, but I find myself oddly OK with it.

I just simply, get it.

They think that we're crazy, that we might be unhinged... but the reality is, our souls are too big for this shit.

This earth, this life, this shallow matrix. It's all games,

smoke

& mirrors.

Death doesn't scare me, if anything I'm intrigued. 

Her quiet and gentle hands, causing such confusion and devastation. 

Am I selfish for longing her to rip me from this world? Maybe.

But at the end of the day, my soul contract has been made. My life fades. My love remains.

So when I'm gone, just know that I'm always with you. I'm always just a whisper away. Remember my laugh, my loud and chaotic nature, my affinity for travel and animals. 

And if you get it, like I do... just know I'll stay with you until we meet again. 

And maybe one day, I'll feel like this thought is foreign- but for now it feels familiar and comfortable... even warm and welcoming. 

And for now... I'll continue to get it.

I won't hope that you regret it, because I fucking get it.

Dust

 It's always a slow return to dust.

We fake, we smile, we fuss.

Hollow laughs, and empty words, 

False promises, a must.

The Earth it turns,

The sun it burns,

And in the end, it all unfurls

Because ashes are what become of us.

We just return to dust.

Resurrection

 Resurrect me from this hell,

Bring me back to life-

Sun is shining,

Yet I still

Wallow in the night.

Craving blood, dirt and lust, 

Have the urge to fight.

Walking dead,

"It's me," she said

Twisting jagged knives.

All that I am

 All that I am

All that I need

All that I want,

Is you here with me, 

I know that I am,

A heartbroken fighter,

But here in your arms I want to go higher

So lay here with me,

Reject all you see

The moment we touch, 

There's nothing but we

And all that we are, is stardust and fire

So here in your arms I beg for the night 

Devil is a Woman

 What if, the Devil was a woman?

Her wrath would be with wicked love

Gripping your heart, until you're chokin'

Hell, is what you're made of.

Dancing barefoot underneath the moonlight,

Her spells are cast with grit and thorns

Harvesting the ego that you beg for,

Leaving you, wanting more.

What if the Devil was a woman?

Her beaming eyes look up above,

Her touch is that of violent oceans,

Her kisses, storms of mourning doves

Grace

 When it starts raining,

A smile hits my face

When I am dreamin'

I fall from my grace

I don't know how

I came here to this place

But what I know is

You give me grace

Rebel

 Here I am,  dancing with the devil

Screaming "I'm a fucking rebel" 

Smirks smeered with red lipstick,

Fresh tattoo, and begging you to hit it.

Shake my ass, the bass is taking over

Forget class, hot mess is what I go for

Here I am, dancing with the devil

Baby don't you know,

I'm a fucking rebel.