And she spins faster than ever,
The pinks and blues of the sky, they swirl.
Like cotton candy being spun on a carousel.
Whirling and twirling, and falling to the floor.
A fun and beautiful sensation, yet a headache accompanied by a stomach ache,
While hitting the floor.
Fun at first,
Leaving you breathless.
Lifeless.
Yet Zen resides within, where you grew it once.
The seed is still planted, parched and dry- thirsty and dehydrated.
Begging for water with a dry, dusty mouth.
"Acceptance is key"
Whispered an angel, who was mortal.
She was spiritual, and beautiful- and I wanted to learn.
I listened in the heat of a tight chest, and anxiety stricken mind.
Her light eyes and dark complexion, were so reassuring.
Maybe she had the key to eternal peace.
It's time to delve and read - to understand and
Accept.
Accept.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Thursday, December 26, 2013
She can only pray
And she's no longer alone,
But alone more than ever-
She wishes to go back before her love had left;
But it's the price she pays for a love so strong, with a passion so deep.
She ponders,
"Am I not as attractive?"
"Have I gained weight" - even though she knows the scale claims she's lost it
"Is she too distracted?"
"Is she no longer attracted?"
The lack of human touch, makes her soul cringe.
Her heart shakes- and her body aches.
A hand being the one and only escape.
Her love claimed that she has been angry- and distant,
But in reality the girl simply just wants to be loved, to be touched, to be unforgotten.
She knows that her love is busy in creating a life for them full of comfort and joy;
Yet the time starts to sink in... the lack of touch, creeps in.
Recently absent for five months,
An apparent grudge-
Needing to be set free like a dove from a cage.
Home for less than two, and then back at it she goes.
Lonely is a word, that doesn't even begin to describe.
No money, no fame;
Could make the absence disappear.
She can only hope that one day, it is acknowledged that she is her love's love.
She can only pray.
But alone more than ever-
She wishes to go back before her love had left;
But it's the price she pays for a love so strong, with a passion so deep.
She ponders,
"Am I not as attractive?"
"Have I gained weight" - even though she knows the scale claims she's lost it
"Is she too distracted?"
"Is she no longer attracted?"
The lack of human touch, makes her soul cringe.
Her heart shakes- and her body aches.
A hand being the one and only escape.
Her love claimed that she has been angry- and distant,
But in reality the girl simply just wants to be loved, to be touched, to be unforgotten.
She knows that her love is busy in creating a life for them full of comfort and joy;
Yet the time starts to sink in... the lack of touch, creeps in.
Recently absent for five months,
An apparent grudge-
Needing to be set free like a dove from a cage.
Home for less than two, and then back at it she goes.
Lonely is a word, that doesn't even begin to describe.
No money, no fame;
Could make the absence disappear.
She can only hope that one day, it is acknowledged that she is her love's love.
She can only pray.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Applause
"Hello friends! I'm so glad you're here!" She screams in an empty room, surrounded by white walls. She swears she hears them speaking, but it's just the echo of her own voice.
She speaks to the nonexistent crowd. They applaud her on how well she's done in the past year.
Graduating, Moving Away, and Making a Life with the Woman of her Dreams.
She smiles,
Takes a bow.
And begins to speak again, as the applause comes to a screaming lull.
She speaks of grandeur that is to be explored,
Traveling the world, and making an impact.
But she is stuck.
For the moment, in her bed,
With an empty pill bottle, and an audience in her head.
The facade continues to play on,
A stage so brightly lit,
Pressure, so delicately weighted.
To be the best, to make it to the top,
But what if the top, and the best for her are the simple things,
Seeing the world, traveling,
Maybe living on a beach... in a tent, with only a fire burning from some leaves and twigs to counteract the chilly breeze escaping as the ocean exhales.
She wants to live as the free spirit she is.
Dancing barefoot in the sand, under the starry, moon kissed, sky.
She speaks to the nonexistent crowd. They applaud her on how well she's done in the past year.
Graduating, Moving Away, and Making a Life with the Woman of her Dreams.
She smiles,
Takes a bow.
And begins to speak again, as the applause comes to a screaming lull.
She speaks of grandeur that is to be explored,
Traveling the world, and making an impact.
But she is stuck.
For the moment, in her bed,
With an empty pill bottle, and an audience in her head.
The facade continues to play on,
A stage so brightly lit,
Pressure, so delicately weighted.
To be the best, to make it to the top,
But what if the top, and the best for her are the simple things,
Seeing the world, traveling,
Maybe living on a beach... in a tent, with only a fire burning from some leaves and twigs to counteract the chilly breeze escaping as the ocean exhales.
She wants to live as the free spirit she is.
Dancing barefoot in the sand, under the starry, moon kissed, sky.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Winter Wonderland/Winter Wanderland
She wanders,
Chilly streets, as the sun sneaks behind the mountainous skyscrapers
Such a beautiful city line,
The rush of the holiday madness starts to set in.
The calming noise of car horns,
The sweet serenity of foul language being spewed in the holiday spirit.
She wanders.
The first attempt of a snowfall in the city was beautiful,
Yet lasted merely ten minutes.
The warm city streets refused the snow's kiss, and melted them away
into watery tears.
She wonders.
Where are they now? What are they doing?
Do they feel the same winter chill as I do?
She can only hope, they are warm by a fire.
Aimlessly wandering and wondering-
It can get you into trouble.
The sun bids it's farewell, as the winter night sky sets in.
A tad bit colder now.
She seems to move ever so slowly in the holiday rush,
It's just the beginning.
She can only wonder and wander, until her feet can't hold her anymore.
Why is it that we are only give this one life?
What is there to make of it?
An end.
A simple end, to all of what we thought was meaningful, was simply- to meet us at the end.
Rosy cheeks,
Icicle tear drops,
She waits,
Until warmth rejuvenates her soul.
Three,
She wishes she could speak with,
But will never dare.
Only one can hear her.
One could hear her,
and One wants to be heard.
She can hear one,
She would love to hear another,
And she chooses to not hear the third.
She wanders through this winter wonderland.
Chilly streets, as the sun sneaks behind the mountainous skyscrapers
Such a beautiful city line,
The rush of the holiday madness starts to set in.
The calming noise of car horns,
The sweet serenity of foul language being spewed in the holiday spirit.
She wanders.
The first attempt of a snowfall in the city was beautiful,
Yet lasted merely ten minutes.
The warm city streets refused the snow's kiss, and melted them away
into watery tears.
She wonders.
Where are they now? What are they doing?
Do they feel the same winter chill as I do?
She can only hope, they are warm by a fire.
Aimlessly wandering and wondering-
It can get you into trouble.
The sun bids it's farewell, as the winter night sky sets in.
A tad bit colder now.
She seems to move ever so slowly in the holiday rush,
It's just the beginning.
She can only wonder and wander, until her feet can't hold her anymore.
Why is it that we are only give this one life?
What is there to make of it?
An end.
A simple end, to all of what we thought was meaningful, was simply- to meet us at the end.
Rosy cheeks,
Icicle tear drops,
She waits,
Until warmth rejuvenates her soul.
Three,
She wishes she could speak with,
But will never dare.
Only one can hear her.
One could hear her,
and One wants to be heard.
She can hear one,
She would love to hear another,
And she chooses to not hear the third.
She wanders through this winter wonderland.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Twisted
Felt like
I spoke to the past
A faded
Jaded
Memory
Somedays
I wish I could just wake up,
Make a phone call.
Convince
Wait,
Then spend a night in demonic ecstasy.
To Dream
To Feel
I miss Feeling.
But I know it's only weeks away.
I spoke to the past
A faded
Jaded
Memory
Somedays
I wish I could just wake up,
Make a phone call.
Convince
Wait,
Then spend a night in demonic ecstasy.
To Dream
To Feel
I miss Feeling.
But I know it's only weeks away.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Progress
SkinNBones
Decimals Count
Height:5'5"
Start Weight: 120
Current Weight: 112.8
Goal Weight: 107
Dream Weight: 101
Decimals Count
Height:5'5"
Start Weight: 120
Current Weight: 112.8
Goal Weight: 107
Dream Weight: 101
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