Your Daydream

Am I just a daydream in your world of woes?

Maybe just a moment of muse,

Arch your back, curl your toes.

Baby tell me;

What's gotta give, for you to fully give in?

You've let me see the depths of you, but fail to seek my within.

Can I for once be the discovered,

Instead of the explorer? 

Baby uncover, all that I've hidden, 

treasures, some sordid 

A ship that has sailed, on a solo journey her whole life,

Yet used and abused by the elements, and ice.

There's a sparkle in your eye, as you gaze right through me.

You smile and laugh, but never truly listen to me. 

Eye on the prize, but I'm just a gumball in a machine,

Waiting for you to chew me up, and spit me out- your flavor of this season? 

Ever lasting, is the taste and the nostalgia of it all-

But where does this familiarity come from? 

Remind me as I fall...

Die Tomorrow

 And if I died tomorrow, 

What would they say?

Would there be a few,

Whose breath I took away?

Would a heart or two break?

Would family's heart ache?

Would friends feel loss, of their safest place?

And if I died tomorrow,

Would your words shake?

Would your mind run, and your heart race?

Would you grasp your chest, to check the pace?

Would you beg the universe,  for just one more day?

And if I died tomorrow,

Would strangers even know?

Would my poetry then flow?

Would my voice find songs' notes?

If you could keep me, would you start to pray? That these demons and sickness, would all fade away?

If I would die tomorrow, what the fuck would you say?

Dark Day Dreaming

 The tears stung her cheeks,

As they slowly slid down.

She dreamt about a noose around her neck,

And the serenity it would bring her soul.

This world is too harsh for girls like her. 

Maybe then she could be just like her momma. She did always say she wanted to grow up to be just like her.

"They taste like salt" she thought for a moment.

Covered in bruises she had no recollection of getting, a cut on her thumb that she pushed because it hurt, and unable to catch her breath.

She dreamt of death often, alongside other timelines and lifetimes. 

If only somebody could tell her the best way to re-set her life, she would consider staying. 

She didn't do drugs, she barely drank... these were her sober thoughts. -

Does that make them scarier for the average person? 

Who fucking knows.

And who fucking cares. 

I Get It

 I get why you did it,

I get why she did it,

I get why she's wanted to do it.

I've wrestle the feelings, have quietly attempted twice, have even begged for God to take me in the night.

So, I get it. 

But most don't get it,

So that's why it happens- and that's why we bottle it up... until we can't take it, and then we break

snap, 

gone.

I often wonder if that's how I'll leave,

The same way my mother did.

It won't be for years, but I find myself oddly OK with it.

I just simply, get it.

They think that we're crazy, that we might be unhinged... but the reality is, our souls are too big for this shit.

This earth, this life, this shallow matrix. It's all games,

smoke

& mirrors.

Death doesn't scare me, if anything I'm intrigued. 

Her quiet and gentle hands, causing such confusion and devastation. 

Am I selfish for longing her to rip me from this world? Maybe.

But at the end of the day, my soul contract has been made. My life fades. My love remains.

So when I'm gone, just know that I'm always with you. I'm always just a whisper away. Remember my laugh, my loud and chaotic nature, my affinity for travel and animals. 

And if you get it, like I do... just know I'll stay with you until we meet again. 

And maybe one day, I'll feel like this thought is foreign- but for now it feels familiar and comfortable... even warm and welcoming. 

And for now... I'll continue to get it.

I won't hope that you regret it, because I fucking get it.

Dust

 It's always a slow return to dust.

We fake, we smile, we fuss.

Hollow laughs, and empty words, 

False promises, a must.

The Earth it turns,

The sun it burns,

And in the end, it all unfurls

Because ashes are what become of us.

We just return to dust.

Resurrection

 Resurrect me from this hell,

Bring me back to life-

Sun is shining,

Yet I still

Wallow in the night.

Craving blood, dirt and lust, 

Have the urge to fight.

Walking dead,

"It's me," she said

Twisting jagged knives.

All that I am

 All that I am

All that I need

All that I want,

Is you here with me, 

I know that I am,

A heartbroken fighter,

But here in your arms I want to go higher

So lay here with me,

Reject all you see

The moment we touch, 

There's nothing but we

And all that we are, is stardust and fire

So here in your arms I beg for the night