I. Am. Not.

 I.

Am.

Not.

Okay.

I feel it in my bones,

In my chest- in my soul.

The vibration is so high, 

So intense,

So overwhelming. 

I don't want to say it out loud,

Because then,

I have to 

Feel it.

See it.

Hear it.

Be it.

But...

I 

Am

Not

Okay.

I'd rather suffer in silence,

Than break in the spotlight -

And maybe that will be my demise.

I love that I hate it,

I'm shaking, and aching. 

I'm screaming at the top of my lungs,

But only inside. 

Clawing and kicking, 

And screaming- believing...

That maybe,

In the next moment,

It'll pass.

But then I'm found spiraling, 

On all of those wild things-

That make me and break me instead.