Within

 Dipping into a danger zone,

I've been cautioned,

But I can't let go. 

Playing with fire, is all that I know. 

Burned once, "I'm fine"

Burned twice, "I'm good"

Burned more than three times, makes me wish that I could...

Just shake you- wake you,

Destory the sorrow that breaks you.

But life laughs at my attemps,

Pricks my heart with pins & needles of care and desire. 

Painfully trying to swallow my lack of control.

 " Little girl, don't you know?

That I rule you. Bow down, as I fool you." 

The devil's laughter rings loud. 

But I suit up my armor,

Grab my Scandinavian sword,

Sing the song of the sirens-

And charge full force

Until,

I wake up.

I'm bound

To this human experience...

This life on earth. 

This hellscape we live in. 

And I'm a powerless human once again...

My ancestors quake at my thoughts

Knowing full well,

My power lies within.

Shards of Sand

 Here we are again,

This state of manic-depression that I'm in.

The mania tastes so sweet, that I continue to chase her high. 

Just when I thought my waves have stilled,

You come crashing in,

And I gladly take a deep breath, of the salty ocean air.

It's like I'm lost floating, 

The waves take me out further, 

Undertow currents break me down-

Knowing that it's dangerous, I close my eyes and let go. 

Here I am again,

Chasing the high of her words.

Chasing the high of her love.

Chasing the high within, that my body craves so much. 

Falling addicted again, it's the same song and dance- 

A familiar poison that I grasp-

Sliding through my fingers like sand,

But cutting like glass.

I watch and wince and wonder

Starry eyed - painted by the moonlight. 

Transporting to another realm.

The Well

 A hole,

Surrounded by dirt,

Rain pours down on me,

Mud clings to me, alongside my white t-shirt.

Look to the sky,

I'm sinking.

The space around me is rapidly filling with hurricane rain.

Violent thunder shatters the silence.

The ground beneath my feet feels like quick sand, as the ground above me grows further and further away.

At first I claw at the sides of the hole, fighting with mud, twigs, and stones...

Aching to make my way out-

But eventually...

I give up.

Just as those before me did.

The ones that were consumed by the storm.

"I can float, or swim" I think,

But then quickly realize my clothes are so heavy from the mud and rain... they are stuck to my chilled skin.

So heavy, moving only makes it worse.

I gaze up at the sky,

Raindrops falling on my face.

In this moment I can't decipher the rain from my tears... 

My vision a blur-

I think I see stars... maybe the moon.

Maybe tonight I'll become one of those stars...

Maybe my fight will end, and I'll come out brighter on the other side.

I can only hope as I gasp, my very last breath.