Time Bombs

 Am I losing my mind?

At night I feel crazy,

During the day, I crave the night. 

I count the stars as if they're ticking time bombs... seemingly aloof to the damage they might cause once they explode.

My slumber hasn't been deep for weeks now.

I talk to the shadows that dance and change on my walls throughout the night. At times, I swear they are spirits, both light and dark- 

But then I shrink back to a time, when I was a child, maybe 10 years old... seeing my dolls and figurines move in the night- but told it was just my imagination... a mere delusion. 

How many of our thoughts are rooted in delusion? Imagination? Confusion? 

Or... how many are actually our expanded reality, that we've suppressed to fit the status quo?

I can't help but to whisper to the moon, wildly... sharing my deepest secrets with her, a friend that has lasted me lifetimes. 

As she disappears, I'm left with the judgement of the sun. Beaming down on me, casting my depths into the light... forcibly. 

Awake, I count down the minutes until my next dream... hoping one day I'll get the courage to live fully in my truth. To love fully in my truth. To experience fully in my truth.

But for now... I will continue to count the stars... praying for one of them to explode, so I can truly come to terms with the fact that life is finite... at least this particular lifetime.

I want nothing more than to embrace the overwhelming amount of love,  that awaits me.