All of the Love Letters I Never Gave You

 Do you ever wonder, 

About all of the love letters I never gave you? 

Some of them, I know you've read, while others are tucked away in the depths of my heart. 

Some were stolen, as I shared tears with you, while others were willfully exposed through my gaze and touch. 

These love letters are many, some long and some short- but all rooted in my love for you, nonetheless.  

A few were shouted at the cold night sky, while others were whispered as your slept. 

I am almost certain you aren't aware of the gravity of my love for you; though I do think your soul has an inkling. 

I can't explain it-

It's like an invisible tether,  has linked us for lifetimes. At times, I have past life memories return and rush in; while at other times, I feel a bit foolish for feeling the way that I do.

But even in the moments of foolishness, I feel unconditional love and bliss.

I find it hard at times to balance,

The friendship and the sisterhood, with the feelings that run deeper.

It's the rush I get when I see you, the warmth that I feel when I hold you, and the calm that I feel when you play with my hair as we lay in silence. 

While simultaneously telling myself, to reel it in, because I don't want to ever ruin the friendship, sisterhood, and soul contract that we share.

I have moments of "fuck it" coupled with moments of "what if" coupled with moments of "if only," and it is the most beautiful feeling of madness I've ever experienced. 

So for now,

I'll continue to tuck them away,

Those love letters I've never given you; 

For now, I'll keep them safe- close to my heart. 

I'll share them as time unfolds, in ways only you and I fully know.

I'll walk this tightrope, and learn to master this balancing act- for you are cemented in my soul.

Thank you for being you, and allowing me to share my unconditional love. Thank you for being you, and receiving me as I am. Thank you for being you, and exposing all of your darkest corners and brightest light; and trusting me with them. 

I love you, from now until the end of all times. Unconditionally, and unapologetically.