Does She Know?

 Does she know that you told me she was straight and had a boyfriend?

Does she know that you told me you weren't into her "like that."

Does she know that makes you a liar? 

Does she know you initially said you just wanted a "break," but I told you we weren't 16, and we weren't taking a "break," it was all or nothing.

Does she know that when you came back from your stay in Vegas, you sat me down over coffee and told me that you missed me and our morning coffee together... and that you missed our routine?

Does she know that same day, you told me all of her "red flags," including but not limited to: she keeps her place darker than a dungeon and doesn't believe in natural light... that she doesn't have a coffee maker and she drinks Monster for breakfast (and I laughed, saying "That's what you get for dating a 20 something,")... that she "sleeps all day and is up all night" and that you were bored because you're an early riser... and that she wouldn't let you watch a movie with subtitles when it's basically a necessity for you? Oh... and that you didn't have that much in common because she is "so young, and it shows."

Does she know on August 8, 2024 you wished me a "Happy Anniversary" on what would have been our 12 year? 

Does she know that you told me you thought you were in love with her... but would never tell her... only to 5 minutes later say , "But you and I are soulmates" to me? Then ask me if I thought we would ever get back together down the road...

Does she know about the novels you texted me every night from 11pm-5am for a week straight?

Does she know I threw out your strap on underwear? And that we laughed together about it after the fact... I still laugh about that at times. 

Does she know your deepest darkest secrets? The ones nobody else does, but me? I know she doesn't. 

Does she know you talked shit about all of the girls on that tour, prior to meeting them, and that I'm the one who convinced you to take the tour? Probably not.

Did she know my fucking family was in the audience in the NY show?

Does she know that you left me our Christmas ornament and purposefully placed it where I would find it this holiday season? 

Does she know you had her do everything on your most recent tour, that I did for 12 years? Our friends even joked and said "Gabs, it's like she's trying to replace you."

Does she know you reached out to my family after you moved out? 

Does she know you texted me on Thanksgiving ? 

It's a shame.

I mean, I'm glad you're getting laid...

I thought we were family. 

But you'd rather chase fame.

You were so volatile toward the end,

I didnt even know who that person was

What a God Damn shame.

But I want you to know,  one last thing: 

I don't hate you. 

I never will. 

It didn't work- your fits of rage to make me hate you.

I'll always have love for you, regardless of the pain.