Emptiness Leaves Me Full

Sitting, eyes closed- heart racing while at peace,
yearning for my long lost love.
She haunts my soul every so often, a goddess of addiction and pleasure.
Today seems like the day we will meet again.
She has a sister who I've been familiar with slightly longer-
yet the two are both my loves at heart.
She whispers my name quietly in my sleep,
so enticing- so alluring.
My veins throb, my blood boils, my nerves quake.
This decision is so exciting- each time, like the first and the last.
Sweet tasting drive, that carries me back to her.
The force is stronger than ever.
Is it in the air?
Floating on a soft white cloud- chills gracing my creamy, milk, white, skin.
Days mash into one another.
Emptiness leaves me full,
to taste her again will be the sweetest sin, so watch me
Indulge.

Well...

It's time to get your ego in check.
Pull your head out of your ass.
Legit,
I am your FRIEND.
Just because your chick thinks that there is something going on with us, doesn't mean that you have to treat me like a stranger.
Dude, I've been your friend from chick to chick and watched them ruin you and break you...
we've laughed and shared stories... and now you are going to act like I'm out to get you.
You must be doing something wrong to be so damn parranoid.
Irritated.

Admit it.

For once I'd like to know I'm right.
I'd enjoy the confirmation.
I know I have done some fucked up things in my past, but I've been paying for those since the days they happened.
I'd like to know where I belong,
to whom I belong to.
An apology would cease the pain, if only heartfelt.
Lurking in the shadows are my fears, while my hopes and dreams are attacked by them;
I don't desereve this. Nobody deserves this.

I should not be belittled, and pain stricken.
I should be loved, and cherished.
AdmitIt.

When all of a sudden...

I was laying there... crying, in a ball on my bed...
Begging...
Begging God to take me away from this place...
...when I say begging, I mean begging.
I was offering him anything.
"I will do anything, please just take me away, I just wanna disapear, I just wanna go away.. Please.."
Salty tears graced my lips as I gasped for air...
my cracked lips, whispered those words, asking for mercy, hoping for a miracle...
My eyes stinging from the crying, my heart wrenching from the pain...
...when all of a sudden.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse... or better...?

Made me think...

I was watching this documentary... lesbians... baby.. etc...
they were talking about how they felt a "spark" from accross the room when they met... and just knew they were meant to be....

had me thinking....

then I read in an article how they got divorced...
C'est la vie! All good things must come to an end huh?

Dear few followers of mine

PLEASE VOTE ONCE A DAY EVERY DAY FOR FREE

http://missbikinichallenge.com/m/photocontest/entries/April-15-100-Challenge

A little something once misunderstood...

I never quite understood the stamina, the drive, and the force behind the fact, that people I know, once knew, maybe never knew, are/were workaholics.
I get it now.
I am working 40+ hours a week
Going to school fulltime,
and more.

I get it.
If you just keep going... you don't have the time to sit down and really think about all the fucked up bullshit going on in your life... because you are too consumed with work and (school)

It's nice to not think.