Winter Wonderland/Winter Wanderland

She wanders,
Chilly streets, as the sun sneaks behind the mountainous skyscrapers
Such a beautiful city line,
The rush of the holiday madness starts to set in.
The calming noise of car horns,
The sweet serenity of foul language being spewed in the holiday spirit.

She wanders.
The first attempt of a snowfall in the city was beautiful,
Yet lasted merely ten minutes.
The warm city streets refused the snow's kiss, and melted them away
into watery tears.

She wonders.
Where are they now? What are they doing?
Do they feel the same winter chill as I do?
She can only hope, they are warm by a fire.

Aimlessly wandering and wondering-
It can get you into trouble.

The sun bids it's farewell, as the winter night sky sets in.
A tad bit colder now.

She seems to move ever so slowly in the holiday rush,
It's just the beginning.
She can only wonder and wander, until her feet can't hold her anymore.

Why is it that we are only give this one life?
What is there to make of it?
An end.
A simple end, to all of what we thought was meaningful, was simply- to meet us at the end.

Rosy cheeks,
Icicle tear drops,
She waits,
Until warmth rejuvenates her soul.

Three,
She wishes she could speak with,
But will never dare.

Only one can hear her.
One could hear her,
and One wants to be heard.

She can hear one,
She would love to hear another,
And she chooses to not hear the third.

She wanders through this winter wonderland.

Twisted

Felt like
I spoke to the past
A faded
Jaded
Memory

Somedays
I wish I could just wake up,
Make a phone call.
Convince
Wait,
Then spend a night in demonic ecstasy.

To Dream
To Feel
I miss Feeling.
But I know it's only weeks away.

Progress

SkinNBones
Decimals Count

Height:5'5"

Start Weight: 120
Current Weight: 112.8
Goal Weight: 107
Dream Weight: 101

Alone- Death. Beautiful Death.

Have you ever just felt like... it would be easier to
Swallow the entire bottle?
Ignore the warning label?
And chase it with some vodka?

Alone.

A sound sleep,
Only a few pops away from a slumber so serene.
It would be so beautiful.
Or a comma.
That would be wonderful.

Sleeping soundly for ages.
Sleeping beauty.

I fear that is how I will leave this world.
Someday.
When?
Could be in an hour.
A day.
or a year.
Who knows.

But I struggle, more than many fathom.

Multiple Part 2

A breath of fresh air,
Cool autumn air.
Breathing life into my soul.

Although miles deter us from touch, we are still one.
So beautifully engaged, and
Attached.

My ray of hope and serenity.
A destiny- my destiny.

She holds me close through the miles, and kisses me through the wind.
The raindrops are her tears, when she's missing me.
The sunshine is her arms wrapped around me tight.
The clouds are the days, when we both need each other.
And the stars and the moon, they are where we rest- together.

This beautiful girl,
Holds me down. Gives me purpose.
Life makes sense.
I have come to a deeper understanding of the meaning of life, and the value of time and experience.

And when we make it to the end.
Because, We will.
They will be telling our story-
As inspiration.

Multiple Part 1

A hole.
A deep hole, full of salty tears.
Drowing.
Deeper and deeper,
Oxygen escapes, and gasps intake full breaths of suffocating water.
A dream.
Peaceful death.
How sick it might be, yet how serene.
Several times,
This sick, psychotic, feeling makes me feel powerful.
Ill.
Help?
Joke.

I close my eyes while I steer this car,
encompassing my shell of a body- my soul is detached.
Each, single, telephone pole,
Imagining being beautifully wrapped around it.
Crimson colors shed across my fucked up mind.

Peaceful, Anxiety stricken, Depression.
Yet, only for a few things.
 Because my Part 2

Is my lifesaver.

Tweedle-Blah

It's Strange you see.
What will be will be, and mirrors play tricks with smoke.
How one may fall,
down a wishing well,
When in reality it's a hole.

The hole in which, the rabbit cries, and pleads to overcome,
This place that we call Wonderland,
With tweedle-dee and tweedle dumb.

It's dark, I think- but might be right-
if scoped under a setting-
in which light comes forth, and the Queen of Hearts,
finds love, but that is doubtful.

It's sort of like an alternate,
Universe - or something of the sort.
A Land that is so undeniably real-
but separated from this world.

A taste of The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe
A snow blanket covers the ground-
and fairy-tale creatures are maimed
for the fame of holding a crown.