...

 I am terrified.

Terrified of myself.

Terrified of my love.

Terrified of my feelings.

Terrified of my future.

Just

Fucking

Terrified.

All because I love.

What is made from love?

 What is made from love? 

Art that provokes,

Words that intrigue-

A home that's warm, and inviting. 

What is made from love? 

A family chosen,

Or blood-

A child born into the loving arms of parents. 

A bond, unbreakable for lifetimes.

What is made from love?

Food that nourishes the soul,

A secret family recipe. 

What is made from love? 

Laughter turned to tears,

Memories of midnight stargazing,

And traveling for years. 

What is made from love?

A dream, that manifests.

A lifelong adventure,

A quiet night's rest. 

What is made of love?

The comfort of a pet-

A song that you birth by humming,

A poem.

What is made of love? 

The stardust in the sky,

The same stardust that makes up you and I.

Mizpah

 Part of my soul-

Seemingly ripped from my chest.

Yet, I know I'm still whole.

I know the part of you,

That built me, that loved me unconditionally- is still a part of my DNA.

But it stretches far past just my DNA-

It is ingrained in my soul.

Imprinted like an ancient, sacred language.

A language that just the two of us share. 

At times I feel your overwhelming sense of love-

The brightest light I've ever known.

I am forever grateful.

Forever lucky.

Forever loved. 

I say "I hope," but I know -

You hear my songs and feed me melodies.

You read my words, and soak them up.

Your soul is everlasting love.

I love you.

Tell Me

Tell me what you're thinking,

I can't see it on your face,

Can't read it in your texts,

Or feel it in your place. 

Tell me what you're thinking-

I'm in touch, but not that good.

I can't read your mind, or read your thoughts-

Though I'm not sure that I would.

Tell me what you're thinking.

The silence seems so loud. 

Our glimpse of captured moments, 

The forefront to our crowd.

Tell me what you're thinking,

You keep it to yourself- 

I want to crack you open,

And hear it for myself.

Tell me what you're thinking,

Are you afraid to face it?

Afraid to share what's in your heart,

Afraid that I might take it?

Tell me what you're thinking,

Is it good, or is it bad?

Does it make you happy,

Or leave you feeling sad?

Tell me what you're thinking,

Does your mind wander without warning?

Do you get caught up in thoughts, 

And shut down when it's pouring?

Tell me what you're thinking,

Are you confused or seeking fun? 

I'm here to stay, and it's OK

To say that I'm just One.

Tell me what you're thinking,

Do you ever dream of me?

Do you hear a song, and sing along,

And wonder what could be?

Tell me what you're thinking,

If a whisper, or a scream.

I'll stand right here,

And hold you dear,

As you open up to me.

A Place to Be

 You are the sweetest drug to have graced my lips,

The taste of chaos,

The taste of bliss.

The dangerous curiosity of it all, has me addicted. 

There is a fire that runs through my veins, as we compare our deepest pain- 

My heart it fucking races, when I see that face, and taste those lips.

But I try to hold on, while letting go- 

Because I truly have no idea of what will come of it all- if anything at all? 

I inhale deeply,  as if I'm trying to encapsulate the moment in my lungs- fueling my heart. 

Oxytocin has me twisted - has me feeling like a fool,  but blissfully ignorant. 

May I separate reality from fantasy? 

Or can we escape to some realm where anything goes? Where the are no rules or societal norms? 

I wake-

Or do I? 

If I do-

I chase the high of the dream all over again, fighting to fall asleep- and wake in the place where we can just be.

It Plays Again

 I'm a dreamer...

My dreams often become my reality, and I can't quite explain it.

But there I am,

Chasing the high I'm left on each time we part.

A drug so intoxicating, it's beginning to scare me.

There I am running through halls, laughing alongside you. 

Pulling you close, as we round a corner. 

And then the lights go out. 

You're gone,

I'm lost.

End scene.

And action.

It plays again.

Hold On

 Here I am,

Dressing the part,

Painting the smile on my face, 

A shade of red that only I can place. 

Here I am,

Walking the walk,

Talking the talk,

Hand over hand, and foot in front of foot.

Here I am,

Caught in this spiral,

Of love, but no lust

Of adventure, but no trust

A shell of what was once us...

Holding on -

I fear my true self-

The lies that I tell myself - it's a mess in my head.

Truly. 

And few know the truth- 

Even more than I do-

But I wane like the moon,

And love strangers who swoon.

Because love is abundant,

And mine, it feels caged-

But caged feels somewhat safe... 

But it makes me enraged.

Though I can't catch a break-

Or my breath-

Waiting on death - to save me,

To change me,

To grow and Rebirth me-

But won't the growing pains hurt? 

Or will I find a soft place to fall?

Will one of them catch me? 

My anxiety shakes me- but can't quite awake me...

I fear what I know, 

And I know this is all.

This is it.

This is the climax of what it is-

And yet, I try to hold on...