ThisAnxietyInsideOfMe

Struggles.
Something I have become numb to,
Acustomed to.
However I still see new hints of madness on the horizon.
I have settled into my most favorite diesease and embraced my dear Ana.
She lingers on my lips, behind my teeth, in the back of my throat.
The pit of my stomach.
Guilt fills my soul as I even think about
Skin and Bones are my love, my life.
Down five pounds in one week.
By next week hoping to be down ten total.
And hopefully 15 in three weeks.

Destined love of Ana.
A love undeadly.
Immortal.
A disease of the mind and body.
It is a disease.
It's not as easy as saying "Stop" or wanting to stop.
Impossible.

I sort of want to curl into a bawl.
Wither.
Disapear.
Die.
Only sometimes.
WinterDepression is what they call it.
The end.

This anxiety inside of me is taking conrol.
Breaking me free from all I know.
Xany is my bestfriend tonight, all of three.
Goodnight Winter Wind.