Sand

Oh to feel...
Is feeling numb a feeling at all?
Or just a mask, to cover the eternal question of existence?
Are we so connected with the stars and the moon, that we feel each eb and flow of their pull and position? Of course we are. We are made of stardust,  and sculpted by the experience of lifetimes.
So this numb feeling, it will pass darling.
It is just a wave crashing on the shore of this moment... and you, for this moment, are the sand.

But what am I really here for?

Always expected of,
Never asked of,
Always assumed that,
Never appreciated

At Ease

Laying in my bed,
A bit of anxiety fills my chest,
At the thought of my self destructing mess, of a life.
But is it self destruction if you grow from it, learn from it, and flourish?

Or is it simply growing?

I'm alone tonight,
And thoughts race through my head.
All the words she's said...
And which ones she meant?
Or which ones I've kept...

It hurts my head, to think like that...
And to think of loneliness
And emptiness...

I just want to feel, and not hold back.
I want to be who I am ... truly.
To my full, uninhibited potential.

But my chest caves in deeper at the thought of letting go...
Being free.

Can I love, but let go, to grow?
Can I? Can we?
I just want to feel at ease...

Stardust and Champagne

And God sipped champagne,
As she looked down on us saying:
"And this is why I gave you free will."

She smirked as we kissed,
And laughed as we danced under the stars.
Unbeknownst to us,
We were made of stardust and champagne supernovas.

It doesn't feel like Christmas

It doesn't feel like Christmas,
There's no snow on the ground...
Family's spread about,
And laughter isn't found.

It doesn't feel like Christmas,
It's warmer than the past.
But hearts feel distant and shallow,
And question if they'll last.

It doesn't feel like Christmas,
My fire is quickly dimmed,
Though I know I hold the power,
To rekindle it again.

It doesn't feel like Christmas,
A time of comfort and that of peace...
Instead there's unsettled words and feelings, you feel compelled to speak.

It doesn't feel like Christmas,
If only in my dreams...
But I'm looking into next year,
With fresh and newfound wings.

Stranger Contradictions

Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life...
How can one feel so detached at times,
Yet immersed in other moments?

It feels like a mild torture,
But one that I enjoy...
How beautifully contradictory

Quote: Vita & Virginia

"These snatched moments with you are exasperating…. meet me so we may have another.”
-Vita & Virginia