Bloom Again

There is something magical about when it rains in the desert.
The air feels cool,
The ground opens up,
And every living being rejoices.

Moods lighten,
And the moisture in the air feels like gentle kisses on your skin.
The kind that give you goosebumps.

As the rain falls,
I can't help but feel pulled outside.
Face turned skyward,
Eyes closed,
Letting the desert rain wash away all of my pain, insecurities, and doubt.

I feel this spark arising in my soul,
Ignited by each raindrop that falls on my face.

I have the urge to dance barefoot,
Splashing in the unexpecting puddles, alongside the wild cacti.

I hear the grackles and doves sing their praises in unison,
I see the hummingbirds pause for a moment to bathe in the natural formed baths.

All that is the desert aligns, and is calm.

When this time space reality is quenched,
It feels as if all will bloom again.

Swallowed Tears

"You look rough..." she said,
As I sat on the bed,
Over sized shirt,
The ink on my chest peeking through.

I guess I've just been handling my shit,
I knew in that moment she was seeing everything I was feeling...
And for the first time in months I felt seen.

"You just look like you've been through war..."

"Well, I have kind of been at war in my head for a while now..." I paused, and felt as if we were going to actually talk... get deep, ya know?

"I've just been having this nightmare about my mom... and I feel like each day that passes is a day closer to the day I get that call... and..." I paused again.

She was scrolling...
It was silent.

"Sorry, I know it's stupid." I took a step back into my shell.

"It's not stupid..." her eyes never leaving her phone.
The moment fled.
I swallowed my tears.

How free?

How free does your imagination flow?
Does it flow like water, unchained and magical?

Mind Pleasure

I feel passion swirling, rising, and manifesting physically in my body...
In my mind, my soul...
I find myself closing my eyes and letting the pleasure was over me...
In and out of me...
The mind is a lovely place

Let Go

Emptiness,
Numb.
Emotionless... how incredibly immature to even feel this way?
I have grown so much... thrived so much, yet find myself back, or on my way back, to a place I've left long ago...
A place of drowning ...
A place of shimmers of hope...
I simply want to let go.

Drift

I'm so damn tired...and not in the literal sense

I feel like I could sleep forever,
Like I could simply close my eyes, drift to a dream land, and never come back.

Currently

All I want to do is cry...
And scream...
Because I cannot fix you,
I cannot mend you...
I just want to take all your pain away...
I want to strip you of all hurt, and stress...
I feel sick to my stomach...
I fight back these tears the best I can,
For you.

But I cannot live like this forever,
Which is what scares me the most...
Because I truly don't know what will be coming next.