Sitting here a little stoned,
Can't help but think of you-
Letting my mind roam
Exploring your pages, has been an experience I hold dearly.
My breathing slows,
As I try to remember the way you taste, the way you sound, the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh.
I am instantly transported to flashes of moments, some captured and stolen, with you.
And how those memories, feel so damn good.
For years, I forgot what it felt like to wake up happy...
Like, genuinely happy.
As I sit here and sip my coffee, out of my stoneware mug, I can't wipe this smile off of my face.
Something that feels so right, so natural, and something I should have never let go of.
Today, I love myself.
Today, I love my life.
Today, I woke up happy.
I've been waking up happy for a few months now, but cutting that final lifeline has been a gamechanger.
Morning music, morning muses, and morning moments-
I stay grateful.
Grateful for this peace I've learned to reclaim, grateful for the adventures that await, and grateful for this life that is my own.
Happiness feels like a right,
It no longer feels like something I have to earn.
So, to my past self:
I love you. You deserve to be happy. You're going to discover that again soon.
You intoxicate my mind and arouse my soul.
Your energy intrigues me, while teasing me and pulling me in.
Your mind is dressed in sophistication, adorned with playful gems.
I bite into a piece of black licorice and imagine you taste as beautifully complex.
You've already begun to undress my soul, leaving me bare at moments, yet you don't cast judgement.
Breathe me in, like the crisp winter air.
Allow me to awaken your senses.
No reason or rhyme is necessary.
Just flow, and feel.
Tangle me in sheets, the way you've tangled me in beautiful conversation.
Dig deep and explore my constellations.
Brace yourself for this magical, wild ride...
Let's have some fun.
xx
It is crazy how after over a decade of knowing and loving a person, they can become a stranger overnight.
It is one hell of a wild ride,
They no longer act like the person you believed them to be, and this requires a protection of your heart and soul.
You must learn to let go of the idea of "protecting them," and embrace the idea of protecting yourself.
When it comes down to your mental health, your feelings, your emotions, your well-being versus their; always choose your own. They will find their way, and you no longer owe them your kindness, your gentle heart, your care and your protection.
I'm not saying actively try to hurt them, at all. I'm saying, there will be moments where a decision will either hurt your heart, or theirs. It is OK to choose yourself. There is no perfect world where some decisions will be at peace with both parties. Put yourself first.
When somebody's true colors shine through, believe them. Not the 100th time, but the first time. It may be hard, but it will save you from years of turmoil and repeated heartbreak.
Take accountability, where accountability is due, and do it radically. I am not perfect, you are not perfect- and neither of us fully owned that, until the bitter end.
As much as this all pains me, I know that I will heal in time. I know that you will heal in time... it is wild to me that so much is hitting me now, but I will disect and work through it.
Wishing you a world of peace, love, adventure and joy.
-G
I catch myself teetering the edge of my highest self, and the sadistic parts of me.
I crave the love and peace that I'm capable of giving and receiving...while simultaneously staying thirsty for sin.
Craving chaos and peace, Darkness teases me, as she drunkenly slips into my psyche.
Hello beautiful, old, friend. I hear you calling me- your magnetic pull becomes harder to resist.
How could I be so in love with an idea that seems nearly impossible?
Aligning each angle and star just right...
I dare not give it a real chance...
Simply because the echo is silence.
So, instead, I chose a love so easy, so pure... a path so fairytale-like.
I wait for the glass slipper to drop,
And if it does, I'll pick up my trusty leather boots to dance in the chaos of an impossible dream once again.
"Now what?"
A playful tone dances as words escape lips,
Smirks can be seen in the dimly lit and tucked away bar.
We know where the night is headed,
Bodies buzz with anticipation.
Your kiss tastes like honey,
Smooth and sweet, lingering in between each breath,
Take my hand, let me show the world the beauty that is You.
City lights flicker below,
Like fireflies dancing in the warm, summer heat.
Press your body against mine, as loving eyes look on.
Hands pressed against glass, arched backs.
My fingers delicately trace your lips, my eyes take you in,
A masterpiece.
The dark, night sky behind you outlines your perfect silhouette.
The moon peaks over your shoulder, teasing and pleased.
Let me kiss each inch of you from head to toe,
The moon can watch too,
If she so please
The stars watch eagerly, a timeless moment captured.
Forever ingrained into the vibration of the galaxy.
My hands gripping your ass, as you can't help but move your hips.
You want me,
And I, you.
I get on my knees, to worship you in the ways you deserve.
A goddess in her own right,
Taking me to church.
Let me take you higher, than these nineteen floors,
Let me show you the universe in ways you've never seen it before.
Relax, take a breath, take it in.
The view from up here is breathtaking,
But the view in front of me, pure perfection.
Take my hand,
We're not finished yet.
Let's go rogue,
Make a mess,
And say "Fuck it" to everything outside of these four walls.
