Late Night Intoxication

Just the thought of you gets my body moving in waves,
Rhythmic.
Imagining how silk-like your skin feels,
Gripping you hips,
And sliding my hands to your ass and gripping again.
The sound of your sigh resounds in my head.
The way we both know exactly what we want, and how to get it...
That alone, is intoxicating.

Fly Swatter

You can try to suppress the thoughts of pain, anxiety, and longing...
But it feels like simply batting away at an annoying fly...
It simply returns, seemingly unbothered,
And more persistent. 

So alone

You ever feel so full that you could burst at the seams...
Like you could let go of the ledge you are dangling from?
And everybody in your life is stepping just  a little more on your fingertips, without even knowing you are about to fall to your death?
I feel that every second of every minute behind my forced smile, and I try to be everyone's crutch...
As I tried to fix, and mend... and help them learn to bend...
I could drown in the chaos,
But find peace as my lungs explode.
You ever feel so surrounded by others,
But feel so alone?

Mourning

There is something so beautiful about this mourning process...

What Would I Say?

What would I say to you?
What would I say to you if you came to me with the same struggles and same woes?
Would I just hold you as you cried?
Would I just catch your body as it went limp?
Would I whisper to you that "It's OK" ?
Would I simply come up with some divine, spiritual, reason as to why your life is simply unfair?
And would it make sense?
Would you believe me, with eager eyes?
Those eyes that were so hungry for life, but just a little lost along the way?
Would I tell you again the importance of family and love, and how it's OK that not everyone is perfect,
Because we are so beautifully flawed.
Would I tell you to be patient,
And teach you the art of acceptance?
Would I teach you all the things I was still in the process of learning, because I knew your soul could master them too?
What would my words be?
How would they be spoken?
Would they be kind, insightful,  softly spoken, but woven with stern boundaries?
This I do know:
I'd tell you it's OK to cry and to feel.
I'd tell you it's OK to be confused, angry and upset.
And I'd tell you: to find comfort in knowing the universe has a plan.

Dear Luke

A sort of emptiness fills my soul.
I see you,
I hear you,
But you are gone.
I reread words exchanged.
I replay victories made.
But this anxiety still fills my chest all the same.
Heart racing, lungs aching as they gasp for breath.
But in my heart and soul I know, that you are where you need to be.
Our conversations about life, death, and rebirth confirmed that for me.
But it is still hard to find comfort in this empty space, that was once held by you.

I know your lessons in this lifetime have been learned and mastered,
I'm sure the lifetime's to come will be filled with pure love and joy.
But I can't shake this feeling.

So often we chart time in years, dates, and numbers... but what really is life made of?
Lessons learned, love earned, smiles sparked...
You taught me so much, whether you knew it or not.

Late night thoughts in Tokyo

My entire life, I've never feared death.
Three times within the last two weeks, I've had moments of fearing death...
But why?
Why all of a sudden have I experienced this fear?
Just some late night thoughts in Tokyo