A Lesson Learned in the Night

Darkness falls upon us,
the hours of the night take over for the next three months.
This is where I always trip up,
where I find myself in constant search of reassurance.
My disease takes over,
flooding over the entirety of my soul.
A disease of three.
She lurks through my veins, and craves the demonised desires that seem to enter my body fully in the darkness and chill of the winter snow.
Nights gazing at the stars, such distant glimpses of hope and charity.
My mouth grows dry for the lack of words that form at the tip of my tainted tongue.
No thing shall enter these lips, unless it is that of my loves.
My body shall remain as empty as a park on a winter day,
as a blizzard hits.
I shake at the thought of the demons that haunt me,
swallowing them down with such a familiar taste.
Chased by the child of oxygen and hydrogen.
And sin. The third.

I mistakenly continue to whisper to the night and the moon and stars that go along with it.
A sin in itself.

But I can't stop,
with all of these pains of reality as an undertone I crave refuge in this writing.
In my quiet, safe, place.
I may be psychotic and neurotic,
basically embracing insomnia...
But I feed off of it.
As does Mimi.
I relate.
To an extent that outsiders don't know.
Only insiders.
Tonight

I lay here shaking,
No energy from the lack of nourishment the past few days and the days to come...
Loads of caffeine, a drug that should be injected into my blood stream,
and the combination of florescent edibles that live in my medicine cabinet,
dreary winter night.
How I long to play.
In the first snowfall.
Craving the warmth, which itches under my skin.
Pop a few more, swallow.
Bliss in ignorance.

Have I learned a lesson in the night?
Possibly.
But maybe in the nights to come.
I stare at the moonlight,
for... I swear she's changing shapes.