Numbers.

Is spring in near-sight or hind-sight
4.
Falling into the rabbit hole
of doom.
Dreadful image doom.
118-120
Counting, counting, counting...
numbers.
It's all numbers.
My life is numbers.
I am losing it.
Only 500.
Officially accepting deception of a disease.
I think I will dwindle my way down...
back to a thursday tomorrow.
1 Day.
My heart sinks,
My face familiar with a porceline white surface,
Six times.
My body resisting, but I am forcing it to do what it is trying so hard not to.
I have never had my body physically resist for so long.
Up, up, up...
Negative numbers.
-120ish.
My chest hurts,
My throat sore.
My abdominals tired.
I take my cold chaking hands to another white surface,
2nd one.
reach for the blurred silver, tears fog my vision.
Cold water.
3 times.
My face.
Drink.
Chugging.
Water is zero.
Zoloft
Two.

Dissapointment.
My cat rubs against me.
He knows.
Square 1.