We are Young...

I need to get my story straight....
                 My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state...

Dear Sanity,

City street lights, flashing by
like candy coated memories.
Tasting sweet, lullabies weak... only in my way.
Knots and acid aching my lungs,
while breathing is tattered and slowing.
Moments of sheer bliss, perpetuate eternal ignorance.

Ambiguity taints my mindset while annulling my calmness.
Breaking free lets my mind sink, soak, and sip the thick syrup of the orchard.
Sickening sounds of thunder crash in my mind's wavelengths.
Stillness is upon us now.
Brutality murders the once loved memories, coated in sweet caramelized sugar.

Here.
Here we are in a world so chilling, revealing, and lustful,
while hanging onto our loveless denials.
Clarity is where I find myself, for only in one particular place,
and a scattering of moments.

Dear sanity...
Sink your teeth into my beloved, grip tightly onto cotton candy clouds.
Suck life out of bliss, and breathe death into eternal falsities.
Hold tightly onto all that is left of crashing waves on a powdered sugar shore,
for what is left is merely a mirage...

Images- and rewind.

Images keep flashing in my head... bad images,
images that skeeve me, images that creep me.
Haunting my head and my soul.

Positive thoughts- I'm trying so hard to stay positive.
I've been taught once before to stay positive...

Little Birdy - Relapse - my life...

Diesease of the Restless

I lay here
taunting them...
teasing them with my goodlooks and charm
It never really gets old.

Dangling in front of their faces.
Something they could only dream of having.
Something they fantasize about each and every moonlit night.

I lay here,
dangling my body on a string right in front of their faces.
Pursed lips tainted blood red.

They only see me as this object.
A sex fantasy.
So blunt.

However, this is not the tiny hippie girl laying topless in this bed.
with just a flowing white hippie skirt and goosebumps to cover her soul.

It's the disease of the restless.
You can never keep an image straight,
but trying to impress and please everyone-
when it reality all you want to do is close your eyes and melt away...

Ironies in "happiness"

It's truly ironic, amusing almost- how I've learned to cope and keep myself content.
The breathing excercises I just caught myself doing for the first time, although they've been going on for a while.
The excuses I engage myself in- while the adoring looks I cast upon her while she sleeps.
Its amazing the turmoil I deal with, I am honestly proud of myself.
All for love.
Love for all.

Taken for granted- a slave I shall remain.
But I adore the whips on my back, and the sun burning my skin.
My feet raw from walking, and the burning within my soul.

How I can have a distraught day, nothing going right- and then all of a sudden the chirp of a baby morning dove makes everything better.
It's as if those smallest moments can turn my world into complete peace and serenity for just a  moment.
I've really been embrasing the smallest of things recently, and to be honest:
It's made a world of a difference.

Fantasy

I keep catching myself... falling...
falling into a fantasy- of "ifs, ands, and buts"
"maybes" and "what could have beens"
The magic mirrors keep telling me a story,
beautifully lined with lies and turmoil.

Such castles in the clouds open their gates to my thoughts
Beautiful castles and lovely sanctions

They make me smile and then shake my head...
re-living my fantasies that I only "lived" for a mere moment
through another.