Succubus Desires

"With great power, comes great responsibility"
Those words resound in my head.
I see the flame growing,
The desire is certainly there.
I have been here too many times before.
I tiptoe slightly , but yearn to jump in.
Fully submerging my physical being.

She claws from the inside of this beautiful, delicate cage.
Finger nails frail at the attempt.
But determined she remains.

A simple touch can feed her for hours,
My hunger only grows stronger.
In a few hours I will feed.
And the entirety of this coming year,
I will feed.
Watch the cycle of this Capricorn moon.
It becomes dangerously amusing.
Tantalizing.
Take my hand.
Succumb to my desires.

Unravel

Capture this moment:
I lay here.
Wrapped in crimson sheets,
Topped with a tan comforter.

Scanning this shell of a body.
Focusing on each ache and pain.
Mentally massaging it,
Easing the tension.

Relaxing each joint,
Each tendon,
Each muscle and bone.

Opening my heart to the universe.
Opening my mind to MY reality...
The one that so many fear is fantasy.

I just
Simply
Unravel.

Her Loss of Innocence

I guess you could say she lost her innocence at eighteen.
What proper teenager looses it so late in life?
Up until that year, the world was so bright. She found hope in every little crevice of light.
She would get so wrapped up in blades of grass that graced the nape of her neck... the feeling she got while she was laying  on her back, face to the sky.

Her heart,
Her spirit,
Her soul
Were light, carefree, and engaged in the world around her.

She couldn't help but admire her father's eyes, his coarse singing voice, his guttural laugh.
She couldn't help but connect with her mother's smile, her voice, and her love for all things great and small.

She was so lost in them. They could do no wrong, they were her mommy & daddy.

Reality set in,
Shook her world and opened a gate to Hell.
She would be bruised, and slashed of her dignity.

Ma Mort et Ma Vie

“En sa beauté gît ma mort et ma vie.” – Maurice Scève

Say No

Let her consume me,
My self-destructive lover.

Let her endure what she may,
And wreak havoc on this body.

Let her consume me,
Through thought,
Mind,
Body.

Let her control me,
Penetrate my inner being.
Let her make me sick.

I find knowledge in this disease,
And I've been on her ride-
Ups & Downs.

Twisting,
Turning,
Winding down.
Restricting.
Let the games begin
Yet again...
For that's how they see it.
As a game.

Tomorrow... I start again.
Today was awful
Last week was great.
Time to say no.

Childlike.

Iridescent memories, skewed by self reflection
The younger me screams out,
Addicted to the chaos,
Addicted to the night life, the poison she knew all too well.

I tiptoe through my thoughts,
These blurred memories.
Cold, drunken nights
Foolish, young, naivety.

Sometimes I crave her,
The girl I used to be-
Lost, tattered, and wild.

But then I stop,
Even just for a moment,
and realize...
I am still wild.

My soul is free,
My demons have escaped me,
Even if for the time being.
My spirit runs rampant through the mountains,
The stars, and across the universe.

And as I spin under the night sky,
A blanket of stars overhead,
I become dizzy...
I fall
On a blanket of cool grass,
On top of a familiar hill...

I breathe in the cool late fall air.
It is crisp,
I am alone,
But not in spirit... Not in true, twin flame fashion.

And then and there,
I realize,
I am still Alive.
Alive and Childlike in the most innocent,
Yet, Naive ways.

Same Bay

Same Bay,
Same water,
Same dock,
Same treeline
Yet something is different ...

Darker,
Colder,
Less inviting,
But the same.

A cool fall breeze
Ripples the water ,
It glistens enough to
Invite a child to doom.

Cold,
Suffocating,
Shocking,
Yet beautiful doom.

Tragedy strikes at a loss,
But why do we not celebrate?
Pain fades.
Fear subsides
And peace encompasses all.