Zen

I sit,

back straight- legs looking like a pretzel.

Eyes closed.

The backs of my eye lids are dimly lit up by the flicker of two flames on their side of me.

I take a deep breath in, and relax for a few moments (although I hesitate)

The smell is of sweet lavender and vanilla

Burning from an incent.

I slow my breathing, still my breathing, and focus on each simple inhale and exhale.

"Life is Good." I whisper to myself

I have to remind myself why I am here

I reminisce on my mistakes and vow to never make them again.

I am a work in progress- slowly but surely I change- for the better

By May 1st I vow to be a different person.

"Positive thoughts, baby, just think positive thoughts" - I cringe as images flash through my memory like the sweetest of all poisons.

I promise the Goddess of my time to change-

it is her that I will change for, and him who I will hold as her equivalent 

I am changing to re-live the way of life I used to live years ago-

Back to my Zen ways,

for Zen and practice bring Karma in the most positive pure form

Worldly things are left at the beginning of the journey- and your past is no longer discussable.

*One more breath in, and one more out*

I just hope I don't fall back into relying on my addiction for my zen state of mind