Breathtaking.

"Breathtaking"

breath·tak·ing

ˈbreTHˌtākiNG/

adjective

1. astonishing or awe-inspiring in quality, so as to take one's breath away.

"To take one's breath away"

What an odd thing to want.

What an odd and off adjective. 

We use this for beauty, for magnificent things

Things that leave us in awe...

...something spectacular.

Reality-

Reality is that if one's breath was taken, one would be left dead.

Lifeless...

Breathless.

So why do we chase breathtaking?

Do we chase the end? I believe we do.

We are our own demise. 

Last night I journied,

Alone- fearless.

Inhaling summer's gentle breath.

I was taking breaths from her... breathtaking.

When you whisper words into the wind,

They are carried, 

Maybe lost,

Maybe delivered.

Maybe the message danced in the air for years before reaching the recipient.

But the wind takes your breath, 

Your words,

and either handles with care or mangles.

Breathtaking.

When I whisper at night, 

To the moon and the stars, 

I exhale my words, and thoughts for the day.

Maybe brought into the realm of galaxies,

Maybe stolen by the wind,

Either way my breath is taken from my lips,

With my words,

With my thoughts, and carried...

Where they reach I do not know,

All I know is that fear is no longer a word that exists.

Death could be closer 

And we can't resist.

For devils and angels may receive our breath once she strikes.

Breathtaking.

Where it's taken we don't know.

Whom it's given?

Secrets held by the universe.

All I know is that my breath was taken.

Coffee, Mosquitoes, and Star Gazing.

Crickets are chirping,
Car wheels squealing,
People honking.

Neighbors fighting,
Cicadas chatting,
My mind racing.

It's weird you know,
All of these little noises, majority of people tune out.
They become white noise, in the chaos of our lives.

Coffee, darker than usual,
I wanted it rough.
Stars illuminating the suburban sky.
The city so close, I can almost see lights.

A sleepless night ahead,
A midnight walk?
I shouldn't.
I wouldn't.
I will.

Mosquitoes feeding on my bronzed skin as I write,
I let them.
All of God's creatures need to feed,
Right?

There is a breeze, it is similar
To a time years ago,
Where I was under the stars, and certainly not alone.

I lay on this rooftop,
Close my eyes, let my Chakras align.
...Or try.

Wishing the ocean was a tad closer,
I'd drive to the beach...
Lay in the sand,
Meet with seagulls, and crabs
...Shake nature's hand.

She's beautiful,
She gives.
She is warm in her touch.
She breeds life, and inahles death.
Mother Earth.

So what am I writing?
Or why do I think,
That others care dearly what's raging inside of me?

I make friends with mosquitoes
While drinking coffee , near black.
While gazing at stars...
...and searching.

The man on the moon,
Venus or Mars.
Meeting, but one,
Would be breathtaking.

Flat

She wore a polka dot dress,
Hair always a mess,
Six inch heels,
Red lipstick smeared.
She didn't fear death,
Loved dancing, and sex.
She'd climb mountains just to inhale the sweet summer's breath.


The leaves soon would change,
Her life rearranged, she'd still love the smell of old firewood smoke.

Lavender filled her lungs, sunflowers filled her home.
She walks in the dark, smirk at the stars, and the planets aligned.

She was weird, odd, and quirky,
No shame in that.
She didn't make sense,
Like an old Spanish map.
She was FLAT.

TipToe Star gazing

Chocolate covered strawberries,
Dimly lit lights,
Jacuzzi tub and lingerie,
A perfect night.

Earlier, some gambling, some Riesling and some Italian Cuisine .
Laughing at times, quiet at others.
The silence screamed
In my head .

It's now one in the morning,
She is fast asleep,
We are surrounded by mirrors, clothes, and reminents of the night.
It has been two whole hours,
I toss and turn.

Contemplating taking a walk to the casino,
But not sure if I'd return,
I lock myself in the suite.

Who am I running from?
Who am I running to?
Why am I hiding from reality skewed perceptions?

The night is young, for me atleast...
Maybe the stars will do me some justice...
*Click*
I unlock the door,
Dressed in leather and lace,
Loose curls grace my face...
I tiptoe out.

Manic Spending

I sat there,
Manic spending lately,
Not really expecting much out of it.
She told me to get comfortable, her eyes were dark, and piercing.
I adjusted my statute, and slowly inhaled, closed my eyes, "...Ok... I'm ready."
Her words dance lightly at first as I opened my soul, she dug deeper and deeper.
"You haven't been yourself lately, you're depressed, you're anxious..."
"You're distant"
" Somebody is being malicious"
"C"
This person is trying to hurt you, to curse you, is jealous.
"Was she recently part of a cult? Or something similar?"
Heart sunk.
"She is powerful, and jealous, and angry... Vengeful"
"She presents herself in light, peace, and love, but it is a façade."
"Has she asked to meet with you soon? I feel like she asked to see you in the near future...don't go."
Confused.
Bitter.
Frustrated.
True? False? Just another lousy psychic?
"Don't go. You need to heal."

"S... You saved each other, but you don't know it yet."

"W" your soulmate. Distant right now because of negative energy being sent your way, but meant to be.

"Anxiety..depression..."
"You need to start meditating again"
Just another manic spending trip .

All I See Is White

"Take these pills," they said.
"They'll make you happy," they said.
"The pain will disappear, and the skies will become clear."

Ingesting to accept, to embrace, it seems to mask, to take sanity's place.
I just want to wander into the night, let the darkness consume me,
Dance with my demons.

I want to skip, and spin under the moonlit sky, under Mars, and make Venus jealous.
I wanna run, until my legs collapse.

I was stricken with confusion once again, and why?
Why can't love be simple? Why can't life be eternal? Why can't experiences be open?

They can be.
But we choose to think too hard before acting, for fear or being punished,
Fear of repercussions.

But in reality, is what makes us happy in the moment worth it in the long run?
Will we look back on our death beds and wish we did something different?
I don't want to live my life like that.
I want to be regret free.
Honestly, I am at the moment- but will I continue to be?

I look for answers at the bottom of this bottle...
Pop
Pop
Pop

But all I see is White.

Wonder.

Sometimes I just close my eyes and wonder
I hold my own hand
Play with my own hair
Smell my own skin and imagine...
I focus on my breathing, trying to channel a foreign being.
Are we one at this moment?
I can only imagine, only wonder.
Have we ever been channeling at the same moment? Through the lifetimes, the dimensions?
Who were we to each other in a past life? Who will we be in a future one?

I'm afraid to find out now, but curious.

Inhaling my anxieties I am often torn,
Often distraught,
Often left to
Wonder.