Halestorm - I Get Off (Video)

Smoke

Inhale
:)

Tip-Toes

I have laid down my life, let myself free- this feeling is so relieving
Re-living the life that I once had
I'm starting to feel like "me" again
It's warm today- I'm barefoot- dancing along the halls, the streets,
so gracefully dancing on my toes
spinning and swirling while my skirt defies gravity

I am slowly becoming me again
Beautifully numb, free spirited and letting go
How I've missed the warm air in my lungs.

Around the Bend

Little indiscretions creeping around the bend
lost in the night- like a star without its shine
Wish I were brave
Fearless is where I'd speak my truth
the world would scream at the top of its lungs
and halt the tattered breathing
Setting free my emotions, my ideas, my premonitions
Success is around the bend with my indiscretions- which will reach me first?

Pompous

To belittle, degrade women
To think that they are of no mental capacity
Your mother who birthed you, raised you, fed you the milk from her breasts...
that wasn't enough?
Where did it all go wrong?
Did your father beat her? Is that what your childish eyes saw?
is that where you decided women were not up to man's standard?
Blood, sweat and tears are what women put into children, into the work force, and into society
How can one claim that they are incompetents- it is you, sir, who is of lacking mental capacity.

So when you deny me my right to speak, or act as I so please is the moment where you are at fault.
Because this tiny voice will be heard when you take away what you owe me in thinking that I will remain quiet.
Because this tiny person has a large voice- watch out "BigBoss" I'm on your trail like a hound on blood.

Hell

Blissfully ignorant to life
the colors are bright and the skin is translucent
these lips are stained a blood rouge
Scars grace these eyes- piercing through the breaking dawn
droplets form on this spine, slowly dripping,
inching their way down to the nape of my back.

Purely blissful, ignorantly decieving
Welcome to the place we call home
Hell.

StoryTime

She loved mysteries so much, that she became one *

impossible

There's no way that my name can escape foreign lips
Struggling to displace and escape
Drugs and dreams lead to imperical indecencies.
Twisting into oblivion
Leaving baggage at the door
Can't wait to travel
See the world
Embrace the possibilities
Until then
Dream
Live
Sew my lips shut.

Obedience

Because of you.

I lost myself.

Because of you,

I struggle again.

Because of you-

I'm imperfect again

Because of you

I fell into addiction

I will be beautiful in somebody's eyes

I am Anorexia.

Naked

I'm going to burst at my seems,
She doesn't know that she's in too low- I am she.
Bare as the earth free as the wind- just another breath in - so sweet and sinful
Euphoric feelings swimming through my indigo veins.
Swimming in my world of freedom- so stare me in the eyes and tell me what you see
So many things I'd say if only I were able.

Opinions grace their lips; very well entitled, there's no-one here to save

Her free spirit dances with the stars and cries with the rain,
all full of good intent.

Delusional sunsets are what keep her breathing, shaking, smiling under her breath
Piercing eyes and a Kaleidoscope heart
so naked - revealed and loving it
Pure beauty in her problems and skewed imperfections.

FuckIt

Love*Whore
Nobody ever said it better than Alanis,
because when your mind races, your skin chills, and your back arches
that is truely when your mind stops.
Ironic? Maybe-
the pulsating caress, the screams, unable to stay still-
this is how it is-
My face appears gently while you bite your tongue, holding back.
Don't slip. Don't scream my name.

Baby it's fact.

It is impossible to live life to the fullest, until you've realized you've been holding back.

Have you ever?

Have you ever seen the sunset at the edge of your dream- kissed the moonlight on your bedside?
Held the stars until they fell asleep? Have you ever made love to the sun in the winter's eve?
Have you ever?

Model

Smiling, winking, giggling-
flash there goes the camera again. Capturing the image of this little girl trapped inside of the body of:
an addict, a liar, an anorexic- yet a lover, a hater of self.
She poses, practices facial expressions- gives them the look that they want.
She's good at that.
Her lips pout, her eyelashes flutter, her smirk lingers- but it's all from practice.
Her fragile body makes the angles they want, they crave for
gives them the curves that men die for...
arms back, chest out, back arched- suck it in...

She creates a mirage with her visage.
So used to giving the people what they want- has she lost her mind?
lost herself...in a matter of time

The one thing that holds true are her eyes, once shades of blues, greens, aquas- so bright.
Now grey almost, yet screaming to tell her story.
Look close at any of her pictures... her eyes are what make her
they are the gateway to her soul...
merely lost, whirling, spinning out of control and into the unknown.

Take a peek...

A Mess of Words...

commiseration
             compassion          sympathy
attractive         comely                       fair
          venomous                 vicious            toxic
  poison           paucity .
                                     .              
                                       .
Intention..

Lost

How do you save somebody that's lost- do you shout their name, bribe them, or play their game?
She's so young and mistaken,
her ideals still questionable...
Do I jump down the well to struggle saving her when all she wants to do is drown?
...what if she drowns me in the process? Is that selfish?

I want to breathe life into her- make her see-
unblind her from life's realities

She's so lost- and must be found, before it's too late
-she's nearly drowned.

Our blood runs thick- yet the distance grows wide
I don't want to see my little sister die...

So Lord if you hear me out... just once more,
I'm calling on you to bring her to shore.

Faith is what's guiding me now- not too sure if I'll ever back down.
Let her see the light, and that life can be better,
so sure that I know this- from now 'till forever.

My heart is sunken- a lullaby dull.
Lord please save my sister... she means more to me than she knows.

Comme si de rien n'etait...

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm, mmm, mmm

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/stevie-nicks-lyrics/landslide-lyrics.html -]

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too
Oh, I'm getting older too

Awh, take my love, take it down
Awh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide bring it down
Oh, the landslide bring it down

-Landslide-StevieNicks/DixieChicks/etc.

Feeling:

City Lights - Sara Bareilles

Sobriety

I put down the bottle, the pill bottles are empty... skewed..
scattered amiss my healing soul
Soon to be so busy and these poisons so out of reach- I shall find a way to cope

Going going gone- I shall keep myself in check.
Time to Focus.
reFocus

Sobriety is in order.

Calm after the Storm

The winds might blow fast, rough, wicked- and calm
They might stir up objects- yet they are mere objects.
Wind crashes and breaks- while cooling my face.

Wind burn may hurt- yet this is the calm after the storm

Reality strikes in, and I let my soul breathe- because I only know how to set it free
With a switch of my heart and the pure shining through
I can stop this storm- and rest in the lieu

So serene it is, after it rains... because from rain there comes rainbows
-that keep me in my place.

High as a Kite :)

Floating... so high- you can't bring me down.
So happy with where I am- with my life... It's finally all falling into place
I am just a kite- with the wind taking me in the RIGHT direction :)

In the end

In the end we have eachother- sure we might be oil and water.
In the end you know I love you and you love me, baby so glad that we were meant to live
happily, peacefully and full of life.

We have always had eachother from day one- and will till our last breaths escape our lips.
You are mine and I am yours- from now until eternity.
I can't wait to escape the falsities that have shadowed us.
I can't wait to hold on to our forever for good.

I love you from now until the end of time, the truely most pure, beautiful, fragile soul that I hold.
I promise to never fail you.
Because baby, in the end we have eachother <3

Addictive Bliss

Although it's early I'm off to induldge myself in addictions...
the first step is addmitting it right?

Blissfully about to intake all my body will allow me to
Pop, swallow- mmm

:) Blisssssssssssssss

Memories

It's little known fact
that I hold on to my past- never letting go, because memories are what make us, people.

We have souls and hearts and memories- minds winding, twisting, indifference.
Memories, lovely beautiful memories.

Trickling down the pages of my book- your chapter has started, and with each word placed on a page, is another word closer to making you a memory.

Lovely memories...
Fading... jaded.
It's OK to let them fade... I keep telling myself. It's OK.

Hmph

Movie of the day::   Definately Maybe

Barely Day.

It's barely day , morning has swept away. Slipped away ever so gently- like lovers of the past.
It slips further and further until I let them fall- day has fallen upon me.
My soothing medicines of choice sit on my nightstand- waiting, calling, yearning for their use.
Today is a bad day.
Today I will use.

Enough to slow my breathing... tattered- your voice ringing in my head.
"Why me?" you ask- I can hear it through the miles
So many questions left unanswered, words left unsaid-
voices ringing in my head
How would I have done the past differently? I can only dream.

My addictions blissfully sooth me, and as soon as these words come out they shall go down.
Down down down...
With the comfort of them, reggae and and my own aura - I shall be fine
and happy
in
the
moment.

It's barely day- and I crave my high- because I'm low.

Infant

I see everything- all of it.
Every
     last
        inch.
I have figured you out- and you shall never figure out how.

Be scared.
But be at peace.
Because you are only doing as I say-

I know.
Don't think I don't
                    like I've said
knowledge is mine- whether you believe it or not.
Don't test something so existent and in your face.

I am beautiful, full of charisma, knowledge and power.
You mean nothing to me.

Hold off sweet child. You mean nothing.
Keep living in your little infantile lifestyle and your provocative manner.

You are so week and fable... you shall break.

Believing

He knows that
You never knew me... you only knew what you wanted to know and never knew what was underneath it all.
You convinced me I was something I was not while encouraging me towards something that was empty and deceitful.

Deceit- what a beautiful word- so enticing and alluring. Why do we have the power to embark this?

Stop acting like you know me, because letting you in got me nowhere-
got you nowhere.
Got us lost.

Only He knows us...

Winding allure- like shimmering diamonds in mud.
Tainted diamonds- false treasures...

      lies
to
          only
believe             what you wanted to.

I am me.
As if I even know who I am...
How can you know me if I surely don't?

He does listen. He will.
He has.
I believe.

Ghost

My voice would only be piercing, and dull.
Shaking; it would only confuse you and lead to more of a broken treasure.
You wouldn't want to hear the voice of a ghost ; now would you?

Vanishing voices pierce your soul- so let them vanish.
Into the unknown they fall... crawl.

It's just a figment of your imagination- just let it be a once cherished memory
Almost like a dream.
Faint, beautiful nightmares- that you want to forget, but always remember.

Just let the ghost drift. It's the best thing one could ever do.
-just.let.go-

Odd.

She lays beside me- we giggle.
Getting lost in eachothers eyes... so lost. We are lost.

forgetting the past- letting moments just be.

Serene.

for once.

It's nice... let's keep it this way from now until eternity.
Let go of the falsities, the temptations, the anger and rage- and embrace who we are... when it's just us.. alone- in such a crowded room.

alone- yet we have eachother. we always have eachother.
Odd isn't it?

Six

In just six days another year will have passed in this precious life
so pristine, so indulging-
Another year older, yet another heart or two broken.

How can one look forward to growing old when their mirage of a life seems to have so many graceful flaws?
Flaws so delicate, yet so prestigious

Just another year past, and another let down... hatred fills her soul, while anguish fills my heart.
Reminiscing on the years past only places me in a pile of glass...
once a beautiful glass house... now shattered from too many stones thrown.

Splintered glass in my heart... on my soul... in my hands..
crimson rivers flow down my arms, while empty bodies lie at rest.

Only Six.

Maiden

I'll be alright- just not tonight...
oh someday-
I wish you'd let me stay.

Fairytales never end- while always hault
Most often do I forget why I came here.

Cinderella lost in a world of liquor and perfect little pills...
Eating merely nothing to fit into her perfect blue dress and those dainty glass slippers.

She's only waiting on the next best thing.

Secret Garden

You haunted my dreams last night...
I woke up shaking.. shivering.. not ready to face reality.
I wished you were there.
Numb.
My tears feel like ice, and my soul screams... piercing screams escape it.

I always wonder- will always wonder.
Hope to someday just run into you- even in the most simplistic of places.. places that our childhood has left us... the secret garden.

With the deep winding woods, and the large open fields... a small bridge over a steam. Our place.

It's a mild obsession, yet a terrible addiction.
the thought of you lingers... years pass.

What I would give to turn back the hands of time and change even the smallest things.
Or maybe my soul lurks like this because it isn't me.

I couldn't tell you.
All I know is that you haunt my dreams.

Inspiration: IceQueen

She's cold as ice- yet her eyes tell a story...
Her soul is tainted with the poison of Narnia

Such a distant fairytale- and a beautiful sotry
With a sad, ending.

She's the Ice Queen
Beautiful, untouchable... yet very bitter and cold.

Disease

I am a disease.

I will corrupt you until you are sick- thin and weak.
I don't inted to - I swear.

I am everything you can't control- So just let go.

I am here infecting everything you know.

Just let go.

Let my poison run through your veins- let my bite sting, let my love burn.

Vanish

Something reminds me of the twinkle last seen in her eyes
Something reminds me.
Something reminds me of his last touch.
Something reminds me.

Something always reminds me of my past- I shall choke it, whatever it may be.
It'd be easier to forget the two- yet they are so similar.
I've failed twice.

so be it , we live and we learn from our gruesome mistakes.

Choking, grasping... still stuck holding onto my past.

It's a beautiful scene, a colaboration of fairytales- with never ending adventures, and a not so happy ending.

It's my book-
My story.

My life merely coursed out for pages so long and detailed, so meaningful- but they shall forget.

One did. He did.
She will.

They will forget, and it'll all be just a dream- while this nightmare to me, is Reality.

My cure.

I've slipped, I've fallen - I've conquered.
My cure is these words, this ink, these shaking hands.
The one thing that sets me free... myself.
I play the songs of my soul acoustically.

Yearning. For. Redemption.

My cure is what these shaking hands, this shaking heart- this broken voice
speak
write.

My cure. Is here. I shall never leave.

trouble*

Lack of knowledge is where one gets into trouble
Where one lurks in the darks trying... digging... uncovering
what
    may
         be

or what may not.

Hearsay is just another word for trouble.

Trouble never fails you immedeatly- yet always fails you in the end.
Always.
trouble is addicting
       a drug
        my dug.
trouble.


how she lurks.

Monster

She holds them like little gems
So beautiful, so dainty, so fragile.
They are her treasures- her ever glowing, ever shining little treasures.
There are four of them.

The color of them is undescribable.
Florescent almost.

They are hers - and nobody elses.
They try to break free - and allow themselves to find a new owner; yet they never will.
Never. They shall always fail at this one irredescent task.

They sit there... throbbing, tired, out of breath and hope.
What precious little treasures they are.
She guards them with her life.. her love... her dark, stone heart.
They are hers.

They come from every place- every walk of life, and different souls.
Beautiful, peacefully serene.
Only because they are broken.
Boken litte treasures... so beautifully broken.. tattered... lifeless.

She cherishes them- and shall until the day her soul rests.
They will always secretly know it- her little treasures.

She feeds off them, sucks the life right out of them- yet they let her.
They fiend for it. They love it.
They'd give their last breath just to have her break them gently... ever so gently... even just once more.

She smirks - kisses them goodnight each and every moon lit night.
The stars grace the glass jars they are in.
Her little treasures.

She's evil, poison runs through her veins.
The poison is given by them.
She is addicted to them, their poison that she steals each night before she rest her eyes.
They haunt her, yet she loves them- they love her yet she haunts them;
Her little gems. Precious and innocent they are.

They shall never recover ;; and part of that makes her thrive- while they other part, the only part that is still alive in her dies a little bit more.
Dies slowly... and surely one day there will be nothing left.
Part of her wants to set them free- she has tried 4 times. All four times the precious gems, her little treasures stay. They must stay. They want to stay.

She is a monster.
She is me.

Bronzed lullaby

Sing me to sleep - just for tonight
Hold me close- never set flight

Free my imagination- hold me dear

For this is how I tend to ring in my year

A resolution to be loved by those who work hard,
who will never fail me, or break my heart.

She is on the other side- waiting for me
I'll be home soon

So close- yet so far

My peacefully lullaby is now complete
she'll put me to sleep from now until eternity <3

The emerald in her eyes is one I complete...
My love, my forever -

my life still discrete

A simplistic melody

The tones range from high to low
I'm as low as I have ever been- yet as high as you made me
High
Purely high
The weeks pass and the moments feel like days while I drift into my addiction
My sweet, serene, addictions- beautiful aren't they?

Failure to hold a heart dear, hold secrets close, and failure to act on what you said.

It's all a lie.
Stop lying.
You never really felt the way a lover should.
You never really loved, because if you did you'd never fail your princess on her dying days

Mere longevity seperates the two cold black hearts.

You never did.

Fantasy Nightmare

I toss and turn at the sight of your skewed face
in my dreams nightmares.
Once so pure and meaningful - now so blissless and full of lies and betrayal.

Stop.

Stop haunting me. For I have forgotten who I am and why I am here
My bones start to show- pure beauty right?
I must find beauty in something- and solitude- for I am alone in my soul now until eternity.

I am alone in who I was and who I am supposed to be
This fantasy nightmare- this facade is what haunts me

Your skewed face- not so precious anymore- not so pure- just a mere fog of a memory

I fear for myself... my beauty - my bones that grace the surface of my skin

Trembling- fear... Loathing.
Loathing all that this situation has become... but it's just a dream right? Never reality.
Falsities grace my lips- while reality is nonexistant

I don't want to go back to the bitter cold- I wish I could stay here... in the  paradise sun.

Fuck you for betraying me.
It was only a matter of time.

Clean Hands

You wash your hands to forget
The blood that was almost on them- the tradgety that has fallen upon her beautiful soul

Do Not
   fail
     her
this is your chance to learn from letting another down
letting another fall
failing another


I'm sure she is a precious soul, a beautiful free, tattered and jaded soul.
So embrace her and never fail her as you did your last.

My soul fears for her.
The beautiful colors of the blood trickling down my heart will never hault.

They will never stop- it will always beat at an unusual rate.

My palms cold to the touch- my soul guarded and never to be set free again.

Never.

I will go on life living in the shadows of my fears- and always hoping that you will not break another.

Live && Learn.