There is enough love inside of me,
To heal this world, ten times over.
It is pure, it is welcoming, it is uncondtional.
If only others could dive into the depths,
Of their soul-
Break free from their worldly addictions,
Tap into their purest energy-
We would all be free.
Dipping into a danger zone,
I've been cautioned,
But I can't let go.
Playing with fire, is all that I know.
Burned once, "I'm fine"
Burned twice, "I'm good"
Burned more than three times, makes me wish that I could...
Just shake you- wake you,
Destory the sorrow that breaks you.
But life laughs at my attemps,
Pricks my heart with pins & needles of care and desire.
Painfully trying to swallow my lack of control.
" Little girl, don't you know?
That I rule you. Bow down, as I fool you."
The devil's laughter rings loud.
But I suit up my armor,
Grab my Scandinavian sword,
Sing the song of the sirens-
And charge full force
Until,
I wake up.
I'm bound
To this human experience...
This life on earth.
This hellscape we live in.
And I'm a powerless human once again...
My ancestors quake at my thoughts
Knowing full well,
My power lies within.
Here we are again,
This state of manic-depression that I'm in.
The mania tastes so sweet, that I continue to chase her high.
Just when I thought my waves have stilled,
You come crashing in,
And I gladly take a deep breath, of the salty ocean air.
It's like I'm lost floating,
The waves take me out further,
Undertow currents break me down-
Knowing that it's dangerous, I close my eyes and let go.
Here I am again,
Chasing the high of her words.
Chasing the high of her love.
Chasing the high within, that my body craves so much.
Falling addicted again, it's the same song and dance-
A familiar poison that I grasp-
Sliding through my fingers like sand,
But cutting like glass.
I watch and wince and wonder
Starry eyed - painted by the moonlight.
Transporting to another realm.
A hole,
Surrounded by dirt,
Rain pours down on me,
Mud clings to me, alongside my white t-shirt.
Look to the sky,
I'm sinking.
The space around me is rapidly filling with hurricane rain.
Violent thunder shatters the silence.
The ground beneath my feet feels like quick sand, as the ground above me grows further and further away.
At first I claw at the sides of the hole, fighting with mud, twigs, and stones...
Aching to make my way out-
But eventually...
I give up.
Just as those before me did.
The ones that were consumed by the storm.
"I can float, or swim" I think,
But then quickly realize my clothes are so heavy from the mud and rain... they are stuck to my chilled skin.
So heavy, moving only makes it worse.
I gaze up at the sky,
Raindrops falling on my face.
In this moment I can't decipher the rain from my tears...
My vision a blur-
I think I see stars... maybe the moon.
Maybe tonight I'll become one of those stars...
Maybe my fight will end, and I'll come out brighter on the other side.
I can only hope as I gasp, my very last breath.
I hear your voice,
For the first time-
It is distant, but familiar-
You are with me.
Tears fall from my eyes,
You say "Mom, mom, mom- I'm OK. I'm right here."
I try to catch my breath,
"I know baby, I know." but the pain still lingers in this lifetime.
You've been with me before, and we will be together again.
Your voice, that of my son, has come to me in a different form this lifetime. I beg the universe to reunite me with you- sooner than later.
So surreal-
Hearing your voice in my head- from another realm,
My human body cannot comprehend,
but my soul so deeply knows.
You are my baby boy, my green eyed love, the soul of my son.
Will we meet again in this lifetime?
Or will I have to wait until the next?
My soul longs to hold you in my arms, hold you close to my chest, watch your chest rise and fall while listening to your heartbeat.
You are with me.
You are a part of me.
You surround me in love and light.
I love you.
She has your eyes,
Eyes that I'll fiercely protect until my days come to an end.
Seas of blue, curiosity, and wonder.
Eyes of adventure and light.
She has your eyes,
Soft and gentle,
Eyes that want to see the best in people,
Eyes that see goodness in evil, and beauty in pain.
She has your eyes,
Eyes where I see family, friendship, and faith.
I see you in her,
I see the skies in your eyes, I see hope in your eyes, I see joy in your eyes.
I see a painful journey, with a glorious rebirth - a rebirth that has allowed her to see you; purely, and in your glowing, magnetic field.
God gave her your eyes,
So that she can see what love looks like, so she can find moments of clarity, so she can gaze into the face of adventure fearlessly and with confidence.
God gave her your eyes so she can see with an open mind and an open heart.
God gave her your eyes 🤍
What a fine Sunday,
Drinking coffee like wine
Wonderin' if one day, you'll
Maybe be mine
Twisted and teathered by the stories I love,
Cursing the heavens and the Man up above
What if maybe baby...
You can call me crazy
All this pressure made me
Fall from grace
