Butterfly Wings

Sunshine creeps through my window,
A tiny window of two,
In a finished attic, as my bedroom.
The closer to the heavens I am when I sleep,
The more at peace my soul becomes.

My eyes are heavy,
But my soul is light.
Music reigns from my depths,
My feet hurt from dancing in my dreams!

I feel my lungs expand.
Only a few weeks until Spring is in her fullest.
Only a few months until I journey afar.
Only a few years left in this somber life,
I crave the journey to my next one.

For the most part I am joyous.
Traveling, discovering, loving.
Nights like last night, I am pulled closer to my demons,
Pulled closer to hell,
Pulled closer to my learned evils.

Falling from grace was my mistake,
I didn't always use to be this way,
Once I had wings like an angel.
Until one, ripped them off.
Like the wings of a vulnerable butterfly.
I have forgiven that devil of my past,
Though I fear I've become the devil of my present.

A beautifully dressed devil in lace.
My poisonous taste, so sweet.

But here I lay,
The sun warming my feet on my bed,
A nearly spring breeze kissing my cheek.
My soul searching in conflict,
The universe's purgatory.