Dark Carnival

Digging into the depths of her soul,
She sees a dark carnival, a spinning ferris wheel-
Doom creeps in her eyes.
Her soul is transparent in this moment.
Fear and animosity grow,
She acknowledges it and digs deeper.

A spiral of neutral, univiting colors dance before her.
A storm rolls in and she cries.
The raindrops and her tears blend together,
A stranger wouldn't be able to tell one from another.

Her pale face turns to the sky,
She screams, but only the woods around this vacant carnival hear her.
She is alone.
Not a soul in sight,
Other than the mosquitoes that feed from her warm moist skin.

She is angry, stricken with sadness,
She questions the higher power she feels around her.
"Why her?"
Tears flow faster, her hands begin to shake.

She falls to her knees,
Chin drops.
Hands and knees covered in mud,
She isn't phased.
She has always loved the Earth,
Dirt and all.

She picks up her muddy hands and wipes the tears away from her face,
As they continue to viciously fall.
The rain washes the mud, as it taints her pale skin.
She picks up her fists and pounds the muddy ground before her,
With rage,
Pure, fiery, rage.

What is life?
What is the purpose of all that we endure?
Why must others suffer?
And why must we suffer by watching them?
Why must we love?
Why must we care?
She screams to the Heavens "WHY HER?!"

She curls into a fetal position,
Grabbing her knees,
Now bruised, bloody, and muddy from the earth that was beneath them.
"I just want her back... I just want my mommy back..."
The little girl inside of her twenty-five year old body surfaces.
She is alone,
With nobody to hold her.

She imagines a time where she was carefree,
Where the sun was shining,
Where her mother could kiss away all of the maladies that life propelled her way...
But now,
Her mother is a shell of a human,
Lost in addiction.
Lost in a downward spiral.

Can this little girl balance adulthood with the pain of childhood?
"Please Lord, just make her healthy again..."
She sobs.
A dark figure comes up behind her,
It wraps what appears to be arms around her,
And holds her.
The rain slows down,
The clouds begin to part,
And this being just hold her as her sobs begin to soften.

It is a mystery,
She will never quite piece together.
The mystery of the dark carnival.