Anxiety

My anxiety is through the roof right now,
So I sit here and write.
Banging on the keyboard.
Like it will accomplish something.
When in reality, she knows.
I can see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice...

but nothing has changed and it's only been three days.
ultimatum or not she says she doesn't care
that she wont change
and I say that she must or she will lose me
"I'm already losing you"
she said to me.

My heart broke a little from those words,
but then i reminded myself that even TODAY
she questioned our love, and yelled in my face,
hit herself, the walls and slammed the doors.

It's not worth this anxiety,
it's not worth the stress, or the rage,
the tears, and the pain.

This anxiety is overwhelming.
This pain is unbearable...
and here she is telling me, "It's your fault you walk on eggshells around me."
When I know it's not.
here she is telling me it's never enough.

-Anxiety*