grasp!

I am longing for a full feeling,
something satisfying.
Should I push through to bigger and better things?
Or hold true to what I've worked so hard on,
when different kinds of love flourish my mind with tainted jade colors,
I start to question-
What am I doing here?
What is my purpose?
How much longer will I survive?

I am mentally weak, which is leaving my shell of a body even weaker,
my emotions are gone.
Simply lost in the abyss of the unknown.
How I fear the unknown now,
yet longed it for a long time.

I will remain empty until I find true happiness again,
I have lost it all,
when before I only had moment of  happiness throughout a day.
I want it all of the time.
Day dreaming? Maybe.
But I feel as if it's in my grasp now...