Just for the moment...

My head spins,
I feel light headed-
I try to smile, I catch myself smiling - both however, feel wrong.
She does everything in her power to make things right-
for the moment.

I have to keep reminding myself... It's just for the moment.

Promises are left empty as she streams kisses, and 'i love you's on me.
They just don't feel right...
They feel so empty.
As much as my soul wants to believe them,
my heart and my head know better by now.
This is not love.
Love does not torture you at your weakest,
kick you when you are down,
or pull you off of cloud nine once you finally reach it.

Love should be unconditional,
It should face uncertainties with compassion, and reason,
not rage and cruelty.

I feel guilty for staying,
for possibly giving false hope when I've already checked out mentally-
when in reality I have told her every day since that I love her, but I don't like her,
and that I fear falling back into her tight, chocking grasp.

I give hints,
leave things vague
-but maybe I should be more upfront.

I am scared of what is to come,
because being unsure is never quite nerving.

I just want this to be over,
I wish we could be friends,
I'd do anything for that girl
but I can't take the emotional turmoil anymore.
I can't compromise my happiness anymore.

I just want to disappear...
because deep down I know...
It's just for the moment that these promises are made,
until things are comfortable again enough to lash out.
It's just a matter of moments before rage enters the home we've built from straw.
It's just for the moment.